LET me seize this opportunity to say a big thank you to the various people who have communicated with me either on the telephone, through SMS and on the internet. It is amazing the reach this column has – I have had communication from places like  Abuja, Ibadan, Calabar, Oyo, Warri, Sapele, Benin, Lagos, Bauchi and from outside the country. Thank you – without you this column would not exist.

Today we will begin a series on destructive mentalities. The way we think has a far reaching consequence than we can imagine. A major component of what has made us to be what or who we are today is our thinking. Our lives will move in the direction of our predominant thought. Our thinking forms the bedrock of core values and our mentality. If our thinking is not in order, then our lives will be out of order. If our thinking is right we stand a better chance of making a success with our lives. There can be no success or headway in life if our mentality is faulty or wrong. Our mentality is the characteristic way we think. It is the way our minds have been set to think, reason, judge and respond to people, things and situations. We need to regularly do a “mentality check” so see if we are thinking right or our thinking is adverse to us. A regular mentality check is crucial not just to ensure we have not developed a wrong mentality but to make necessary adjustments to a good mentality. We need to ensure that our mentality is regularly suited for the success we aspire to make of our lives.

These days there are two very common mentalities which we need to avoid like a plague. The harsh environment we live in has made far too many people to develop and be guided by defeatist mentality and victim mentality. These two mentalities are fierce killers of dreams which we must avoid and deal with.

Defeatist mentality is a way of thinking that sees defeat in everything. A person with defeatist mentality is so blinded by his thinking that he cannot just see any reason why things will work out well. All he can see is the hopelessness and futility of the situation. Even when he is made to see reasons why things can still work out he gets paralyzed by his defeatist mentality – he gets disabled from doing anything. All he sees is defeat so he is not motivated or driven to move things forward. He is pessimistic and his language is always negative . . .  “It is too late, I have tried my best so what else do you want me to do? It is a hopeless situation, I cannot kill myself”. The mindset and language of a person with a defeatist mentality never sees light at the end of the tunnel. His speech opinion and view of things always makes him a wet blanket in any discussion.

It is an understatement to say life is tough but imbibing a defeatist mentality will rob us of the motivation and drive to salvage things and make a success of life. We sentence ourselves to a life of gloom and doom and we incapacitate ourselves from doing anything about it if we see things from a defeatist angle.

A person with a defeatist mentality easily abdicates responsibility for the state of things in his life. He is never at fault – he is always a victim of circumstances and the insensitivity of other people. He easily points accusing fingers at people, situations and circumstances as the reason for his predicament and this leads to having a victim mentality.

To be continued next week
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