Mrs Hanna Afolabi is the wife of late Minister of Internal Affairs, Chief S. M. Afolabi. The beautiful mother of one, allowed Tunde Ayanda into her beautiful home in Bodija, Ibadan, where she spoke of how much she has missed her husband, what keeps her strong and her advice for younger ones.

For some time now, not much has been heard about you, it seems you are keeping a low profile, sort of.
The more you grow, the more you become mature and there are so many things you will like to change, which could be one of the few things that have been keeping me away from the public; again, I’m not so much a party or an outgoing person, moreover, my husband’s demise added to my reserved lifestyle and the seeming bleak future, but I thank God for everything.

Since you lost your husband, how has life  been  without him?
When it first happened, it was terrible, but I thank God, the wound healed gradually and with prayers and God on my side, I have been able to cope. It was like the popular saying ‘life goes on’, that is it! But I must confess to you that there were some real difficult times, but I give God all the glory. There were times  I wish he (my husband) was around; I can never forget him, he was a wonderful husband, brother, father and friend to me. There is no way I can forget him, he was a good man and I thank God I came into his life, I will never forget Chief S. M. Afolabi and whenever I think of him, I always give God the glory for everything that has happened.

Have you for once contemplated re-marrying?
That I cannot say. It’s only God that knows tomorrow, I don’t want a situation where I will tell you I won’t do something and later do it; I’ve chosen to tread God’s way, but I think I am okay, I have a lot of friends and families that surround me, I have loved ones, my son is there. I’m not doing badly, I’m okay.

What does your normal day look like?
I have a very tight schedule, when I wake up, the first thing I do is to thank God, I read my bible. I sing and pray, I love music so much. After my prayer, I play some English music, though it depends on my mood, and I dance; later, I take my bath and leave for my school or office…

(Cuts in) ...school, which school?
The same University of Ibadan, the Premier University which is one of the best in Nigeria, I’m a student there, doing my Ph.D.

Aside  music, what other things do you do to relax?
I play table tennis, I have snookers too, but I hardly play it, I don’t watch movies but I like listening to news, especially international news to update myself.

Let’s delve a little into your background?
I was born and bred in Ibadan; my upbringing was so fantastic and disciplined. My father was an ex-soldier, he was very tough. As a youth, when you are growing, you would think your parents are wicked, but later in life, you would realise the reason for their actions. When I was vey young, I was not an out-going type and it was not until when my husband died that people knew I was born in Ibadan. We were not used to going out and I didn’t talk to any man till I turned 22.

I remember a day I sneaked out to a party, I was 21 years then. On my way going, I met an uncle and he was shocked to see me dressed that way, I wanted to hide myself but he spotted me and asked where I was going, I told him I was seeing my friend off, not knowing he trailed me to where we were having the party.

I wasn’t a party person and it was my first experience. When I got to the party, it was a different experience, I couldn’t dance the way they were dancing, the disco then was hard and I was trying to keep in touch with the steps, but all of a sudden, my father burst in and shouted, “stop.” Immediately I heard his voice, I jumped and ran inside a room where I hid under a bed and my father was making trouble, looking for me, it was terrible! He later went back home when he couldn’t locate me and I couldn’t go back home because of fear.

I ran to my uncle’s house at Eleyele where I stayed for a month. It was a bad experience and when I think of it now, I will laugh because everything has changed. It’s now that you see secondary school girls going to parties, having boyfriends and being deflowered, there is no moral again.

When I was young, my father barred male friends, no boy dared come to our house or talk to us. I remember another experience where a guy came to our house and was talking to my sister, my father apperared and slapped the guy, I think he fainted, so people were very scared and they hardly talked to us, our house was a no-go-area, so the exposure was not there and I enjoy it now because it made me the woman I am today. My mother, too, was tough, you must know how to cook, I was in primary school when I started pounding yams and I live with the discipline till today.

You keep little friends, what does friendship mean to you?
It’s good to have friends, but when you talk of friendship, it has to be a relationship where there would be love, that is the greatest commandment, even from Christ. When you love, you won’t backbite your friend, you won’t destroy your friend or plan evil for the friend, but in the society we are, things are different, despite this, I still have some good friends, I have friends that I respect a lot.

One of my friends is Funmi Roberts, she called me this morning and asked if I was fine, she said she hadn’t been hearing from me and that despite my not asking after her, she still loves me. I was pleasantly shocked! And I went on my knees in the bathroom, I don’t see her as a friend, I see her as a sister and I knew she said this out of genuine love. There is Bola Onamosu, there is Ireti Aborisade… I have few friends I cherish so much.

You look beautiful and younger than your age, do you follow a beauty routine?
I don’t have, it’s the grace of God that keeps me and I believe when you are at peace with yourself you will be beautiful. It’s not possible to remould yourself, it’s what God wants you to be that you are, I am also at peace with myself, I don’t bite more than I can chew; I wont tell you I want to drive the most expensive car or have a thousand cars in my garage. It’s contentment that keeps me going.

You are more at home; when it comes to fashion, what defines your style?
I’m a trouser person, I love wearing trousers a lot because I believe it protects me more than any other clothings. I wear English dresses during the week and I go African at weekends. I love fashion and always want to look good, I don’t wear loose dresses because if I do, I won’t know when I’m going out of shape. I love wearing firm clothes a lot.

How best can you describe yourself?
God-fearing and compassionate.

What advice do you have for younger people, especially girls that look up to you as a sister, mother or role model?
My advice to them is to have a vision and focus, they shouldn’t derail or see themselves as inferior because of their gender. They should strive to make an impact wherever they are, they should believe in themselves and understand they will get there one day. These days you see a man of sixty sleeping with a girl of sixteen, it’s a disaster! They should abide with decency and live with the fear of God.