MALE impotency seems to be on the increase today. A doctor once commented that hardly does a day pass by without a man coming into his consultancy room to say, “Doctor, I’m afraid I am becoming impotent.” The truth is, though every man tends to put up a brave attitude and projects a “sexually all-wise” image, he is regularly plagued with some sort of fears and these fears are responsible for the many impotent cases we see in men today.

Every man must conquer these fears if he will be sexually fulfilled and probably get over any form of impotence he may be suffering. In order to help our men, it becomes imperative to look into this situation. These fears are discussed as follows:

The Fear Of Rejection
Many men suffer fear of rejection from their wives because of her temperament and probably because of her past responses to their sexual advances. Such men often approach their wives with a deep-rooted fear that they may be rejected. When a woman has a genuine reason for having to turn down her husband’s sexual advance, it is important she does it in a way that will convince him that she truly has a genuine reason to do so, and that she is neither doing it as a rejection of his person nor because she does not find him sexually attractive. This is because men are very sensitive to their wife’s opinion of them, and often, they read their wife’s NO to their sexual advances as meaning she does not find them sexually stimulating.

And truly, nothing is more worrisome and discouraging to a man than this. Every woman needs to know that a man cannot accept being considered sexually unattractive by his wife.

Nothing hurts his ego more than this. This rejection often makes husbands to keep off their wives for weeks. Even when they get the courage to come, it puts them under unnecessary pressure.

Fear That He Will Not Be Able To Satisfy His Wife
Another fear that torments men is the fear that they may not be able to satisfy their wives.

Women need to know that men find it very frustrating when they are not able to satisfy their wives in bed. This, they interpret as a threat to their manhood, resulting in them feeling less than men. Therefore, a woman who desires to have her husband put up his best performance, not only in bed but in every other area of life, must learn to verbalize her approval of him especially during and after sexual intercourse. Women must learn to say, “Honey, I think you are great. I enjoyed it a great deal.” The truth is, an average Nigerian woman is very conservative, and as a result, she finds it difficult to make her pleasure known to her husband for the fear of been seen as being promiscuous. This is a wrong mentality every twenty-first century woman must rid herself of, because it is a mentality that made our mothers lose their husbands to other women in their time and robbed them of marital pleasure. Your man will find you rather appealing and irresistible than being  promiscuous when he knows you find him fulfilling in bed. He will run to you whenever he is pressed rather than turn to his secretary or some call-girl.

The Fear of Being Compared To Other Men
Some men are also tormented by the fear of having their wives compare them to some other man/men. This fear is often suffered by men who got married to women who have known another man or men before them. And you will agree with me that this is rather the norm than the exception. Many of these men often nurse the fear of their wife comparing them with the man/men in their past, and probably finding them less satisfying. Every woman in this kind of situation must avoid the temptation to compare her husband with some man/men she once knew. No two men are the same. Every man is unique. However, men in this situation should never concern themselves with their wife’s past relationship. A man, sometime ago, kept asking his wife what she felt about his lovemaking ability as compared to her late husband, and he became devastated when she told him she found her late husband more sexually satisfying than he was. This confession almost broke their union. They had to end up in a counseling room before the marriage could be salvaged.

The Fear That He Will Lose His Erection
For a man to be able to sexually satisfy his wife, he needs a rigid penis. When the penis is limp, orgasm becomes impossible. Limp penis is the most common form of impotence in men and every man seems to know or has heard of this happening to some well-meaning men and secretly in his heart, he dreads this happening to him. The fear of his losing his ability to take his wife to the pinnacle of sexual satisfaction she is used to, is something he cannot dare to imagine. And if by chance this happens to him at a time, it seems to him that the ultimate has happened. That which he fears has come upon him. The next time he wants to have sex with his wife, he become so anxious and sincerely wishes that this time around, he will be himself, but most of the time, his experience does not defer from the previous, not because the eventual has happened as he fears, but because he is anxious.

The Fear Of Not Being Able To Ejaculate
Before any man experiences ejaculatory malfunction, he never thinks this can happen to him.

He thinks perfect of himself. But if one day, while trying to make love to his wife, it eventually happens that he suddenly finds himself not being able to ejaculate, he becomes so devastated that the recurring fear may create a neurosis that can render a perfectly healthy man impotent. Men need to know that it happened to you once does not mean it will always happen, but it always reoccur because of the fear. The fear of, “this is it, I think the eventuality has finally happened. I think I am going impotent” makes it to happen again and again. Every time he thinks of making love to his wife, he thinks “what if it happens again?” and when it happens again, it is like “I knew it. I am impotent.”

Fear is crippling and it has the capacity to kill all the sexual excitement in a marriage. That is why every woman must help her husband to eliminate every form of fear so as to ensure a long lasting sexual fulfillment in their home. Therefore, every man suffering from any type of impotence must search if he is nursing any kind of fear so as to ensure this is not the root cause.