Can you let us into your background? 

Was there a rapport among the wives?

 The wives didn’t live together. One was in the village and the other in Ibadan metropolis. the second wife had respect for my mother being the first  as it was  the  tradition then.  I didn’t see them fight. Probably, there might have been a hidden competition between both. My father marrried the third wife after my mother left his home.

Why did your mother leave your father?

 The relationship between them was a bit cordial. She left because her children were dying. She believed it was an attack. I’m the only suriviving child of her nine children.

Did your mother take you along when leaving your dad?

 No. She   left   without me. 

How would you rate your affection for each of your  parents?

 I was close to both as a young boy. When my mother left,  I became attached to my father.  I finally stayed with my father’s  elder brother  so as to attend  school. My mother tried to be in contact with me, although my father wouldn’t want me to get in touch with her. She ensured she didn’t go far away from us, she actually married from the neighbourhood so that i would  be  within  her reach.  She wanted to know my development.  And because my mind had been poisoned  against  her, I refused taking the food she brought me while I was in secondary school until someone  counselled me to eat her food.  While still young, my dad then would come to the city where I was staying with my uncle. I wouldn’t want him to  leave. There was a day I woke up and I discovered he had left. I sneaked out of the home and traced my  way back  to the village. He was suprised seeing me. He told me to decide between staying in the village and being a farmer or the city and schooling. He gave me a cutlass and took me to a piece of land to clear and cultivate. I  hit myself  with the cutlass and experienced pain. He told me that was what farming was about. There and then, I decided to settle down at my uncle’s place to  attend a secondary school. My mother tried all she could, she tried as much as possible to endure the  hardship  in those days. She didn’t have too many clothes, but maintained the few she had. When she washed her cloth,  she would stay indoors  till it  was  dry and put it on again. she tried all she could through her trading to live well and take care of  her children. Unfortunately, my siblings died and she had to run away from my dad’s house. She sold all she had to see I was educated. She  joined   my father  in  training me in the   secondary school. My father was very loving, hardworking and loved his children. Although not rich, he was interested in  ensuring  we  were  learned. He did the little he could, he went borrowing to pay my  school fees. 

How old were you when you had your  first girlfriend?

 I was 17 years. I was then at Christ Apostolic Grammar  School, Oniyere, Ibadan. My classmates asked me if I had a girlfriend I said no. They poked  fun at  me calling me  suwegbe (dunce). They would come together and discuss on  girls. I then started a false relationship with a 10-year-old  girl,  a  primary school pupil.  I had the idea of keeping her as my future   wife. I was later dissappointed because she refused to go along with me.

How did you meet your wife?

We met at the Polytechnic, Ibadan. I  became a Christian  in 1968. We both belonged to the same fellowship on campus.

How were   you able to  convince her of your love?

I made a proposal after one year of friendship with her. four people had already approached her before me and had got no for an answer. I didn’t have her in mind. We were praying with others on a programme and I heard  a voice which said, “open your eyes and see the person praying next to you.”  I initially  refused  questioning why I should open my eyes while praying. When the voice came repeatedly, I opened an eye. I saw her kneeling down by my side. I wanted to change my position thinking all was a diversion from the devil. Then I heard the voice again saying,  “This lady  will be your  wife.” There were revelations and prophesies also in this light. I prayed and proposed to her a year after. After proposing, she went to pray till she was convinced after receiving  some revelations.

At what point did you inform your mother about her?

She didn’t know until I was   about  getting  married. She actually thought I was still dating the first girl who was a muslim.

Why keep it away from her?

She would have caused trouble, being engaged to a christian. Again as a  christian, there is discipline. I refused to marry  early. I couldn’t rush marriage until God said it was time.

Did you get your wife’s  parents’ aproval?

Not initially. I had problem with her family. Her  parents rejected me and refused  to give their  consent to our  relationship.

And what was the reason for this?

She’s from a christian  background, royal family and was   more comfortable than I  was. She was therefore   not  expected to  marry  someone  with nothing. But I prayed my way through. We later got their approval and I became their son.

How would you describe your courtship?

We courted for four years. My wife was my senior, I was running my Ordinary National Diploma (OND) programme and her, Higher National Diploma(HND). Our courtship was interesting and ecnouraging. She took me as her elder brother. God used her to get me out of financial embarrassment. She was giving me   pocket money and brought me food.

What role did your mother  play  to see  you  were married?

She didn’t know the kind of marriage we were going into. She wanted me to submit my wife to her so that she could treat her  the way    wives were treated  traditionally in those days.  She told me not to bring her along if I wanted to discuss  confidential  things with her and also advised  me not to share my  secrets  with her. I rejected her counsel  and told her we have been joined together as one  in Christ.

How did she react  to your stand? 

She didn’t like it. She was confused and disappointed. She had a  problem  understanding  the  difference   between   muslim and christian concept of marriage. I wanted mum to understand, but she couldn’t.  I  didn’t blame her because of her background. She actually told us  she went to places to see to it that she had her way, but all failed.  At the  end of  the day,  she  saw and confessed that the God we  are serving   is a good. 

What was your wife’s  reaction  to your mother’s attittude?

She has a gift of taking care of the  elderly  ones. She loved to see and take care of them. She was always encouraging us to go and see her.