ShareA few facts here and there can put you ahead of the game but remember that her past relationships do not dictate your current one.

What you need in your new relationship is confidence and boldness. Mind you, if you do not make your feelings for a woman clear, she may decide to find out by testing you. Telling you naughty bits of her past might generate a reaction, most likely a negative one. So, don't let her rile you with her manipulations, just make sure you are prepared for this tactic and see it for what it is. Some women can be quite coy when it comes to relationships, make sure you play it cool and don't fight “fire with fire,” believing that making her jealous will rectify the situation.

I must tell you that it is easy to gauge reactions when revealing sexual pasts. For all you care, she may just want to see what you are into and if your reaction is good, she will know how far she can go. Revealing a sexual past does not just mean how many partners and how often, it's also about experiences, turn-ons and everything that goes on behind closed bedroom doors.

So, when your woman shares all her wild sexual adventures, it is either she is testing you to see how far she can go with you or she is trying to actually probe to find out about your past. Since she is a player in the chess game of love, she may be thinking of the old game of “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” She thinks that if she tells a secret, you will feel secure enough or obligated to tell one too.

Now, while you may not want to exchange tit for tat, so to speak, I admonish you not to hold back entirely. This could end badly for you as she will feel as if she had divulged her entire history to you and you had given her absolutely nothing in return. Relationships are about give and take, remember that.

If madame tells you about her past, she may be trying to tell you about her sexual pleasures and preferences, particularly those she liked. Certain sexual activities may have gone over well for her while others may have been a bit stale. By telling you about the good and the bad, she may be trying to let you know before you try them but she is not sure how else to bring it up.

Ladies know that talking about sexual experiences in a relaxed mood makes difficult subjects much easier to breach than if you were between the sheets. She may also probably want to boost your confidence. Reminiscing about her past allows her to compare what she has been through to what you are currently going through. If you are handling her well in bed, she may be trying to subtly tell you so.

Therefore, don't be offended by her tit bits of sexual exploits, just let her share and see where it goes and what she is trying to tell you. Some sexual pasts are not as bright and cheery as others, bad experiences happen and by her revealing some of the not-so-pleasant times, she may be trying to let you in on a secret so she does not catch you by surprise. If you think a blatant admission is shocking, imagine if you had found out on the fly.

To the ladies, you need to realise that your guy may be protecting you for shielding his past away from you, particularly at the outset of your relationship. Whether he opens up or not, he has his reasons for his actions. He wants you to have grown with the relationship to be able to deal with his past by the time you finally know. If you insist, he may mess up your plans by telling you things you didn’t even ask about.  He may feel that the things he has done before you came on board should not be a big deal (ideally it shouldn’t). He may even think you should be open to them since you were not in the picture when it all happened.

Back to you guys, now that you have learned things about her past, either because you asked or because she blurted it out, you need to decide how you’re going to handle the situation and the information. As a gentleman, I expect that you take it in your stride and deal with it maturely. Having had all these pieces of information, here is how to handle her and keep things in perspective:

Think about your own past: When you start to get worried about what she has done, think back to all the encounters you have had. You probably were worse as you didn't always act with class and dignity and chances are she has not either. Try to use the same standard for yourself as you set for her.

Disassociate present from past: Just because she once made questionable decisions does not mean she does so now. Get to know this girl for who she is, not who she was way back when she was a different person with different interests. Don’t let her past cloud your view of her now.

Try something new: Decide on something you have both never done and give it a try. Since you will both be learning and growing together, you will make a new bond and be forced to think currently.

However, please know your limits. If you feel you can’t handle what she has told you or have found out about her, just get out. The further you get into a relationship, the more you will drive yourself crazy and likely her as well. The longer you wait to make the break, the more it will hurt. So, don’t wait, because if something bothers you now, it is likely to get worse as your attachment to her gets stronger, not vice versa. Share