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Help Me Out Of This Mess

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Dear Yemisi,
I want you to help me out of this mess. I was a young man of 28 when I met a girl. We courted for two years before she left for Lagos. I knew her place, but my work didn’t allow me to visit her then, so this made us to lose contact.

I have searched for her for almost four years because I didn’t know her whereabouts.

To my surprise, one of my bosses was transferred from Lagos to in Ibadan. This Lagos oga sent me to offload some items in his house; when I got to his house, to my surprise, the first person I met was the woman (name witheld) I am talking about who incidentally is now my boss’ wife and the mother of his son. I heard they had their wedding last year.

I am writing to you because I don’t know how to address her in case I’m sent there on an errand. I don’t know whether to call her by name or madam.

She is my first love. I cannot address her as madam.

Kindly help me.

S. Brown.

Dear Brown,
As long as you are still interested in retaining your means of livelihood, you must exercise caution in handling this issue.

Levels have changed o. Never discuss this matter with any of your colleagues at work. Don’t even mention it to anybody that you once dated the lady who incidentally is now your boss’ wife.

If you do, then you are inviting crisis and tension- soaked work environment for yourself. Before you know what is happening information /rumours founded and unfounded would be reaching your boss on your illicit amorous relationship with your former girlfriend.

He wouldn’t want to listen to you whether you once dated the lady or not.

So for peace to reign, just forget the past and relate with her the way you relate with your boss. She has assumed a new position of your boss’s wife and must be treated as such.

If possible, avoid being in regular contact with her. Any time you go to their house, please, be formal in your conduct.

What stops you from addressing her as ‘Madam’? What virtue will this take away from you?

This is no big deal. Thank God she is not of Yoruba origin.

Let this your knowledge of her be known to you and you alone o.

Accept your fate in good faith. Dear Brown, be wise.

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