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Saturday, 04 August 2012
Dear Yemisi,
PLEASE, advise me, I have a guy who I have been dating for years. He deflowered me while I was in 200 level.
He later denied ever deflowering me, saying that he did not see blood to prove that I was a virgin when he had sex with me.
We later settled this issue, but ever since then, he has stopped calling me and whenever I call him, he doesn’t pick my calls.
He is in the final year, but I am working.
Bolu.
Dear Bolu,
You can now see how gullible you were in trading off your pride. To you, you were sure that the guy in question actually deflowered you, but if I may ask, on what basis did you allow him to have your pride? Though, I might be a student of the old school, who still believes that sex should be delayed in any relationship until there are signs that you both are working towards having a future together, if not till you are married.
As you are feeling cheated, so also is the guy, who claimed that the moment he finished having fun with you saw nothing confirming your hitherto claim of being a virgin, then he felt you told him a lie.
Bolu, there is no need crying over spilled milk, he has made up his mind not to have anything serious to do with you. And I even doubt if he had any serious affection for you at all. Bolu, take him off your mind and stop wasting your credit by calling him. He no longer considers you relevant.
Concentrate your energy on your career and be less passionate about him and ‘shine your eyes’ before you are used and dumped again.
Learn for decency’s sake to delay sex in any other relationship you find yourself. There are issues that should be addressed before you are taken to bed. It was because you felt that giving out your body will further strengthen your relationship.
This has always proved to be a fluke afterall.
Please, allow friendship take its root before opening your laps, except when you are in love with the man.
Cheer up.
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