In varying degrees, we all are travellers. All of us in this world. We travel to and fro
various places – climes and lands and fields and mountains and vales and valleys
and rivers and streams and waters and mangroves and oases and deserts and orchards and gardens and everywhere and everywhere…. We all, in varying degrees and at different times, travel in and out of ourselves, in and out of our sensibilities, in and out of our sentiments, in and out of our joys and happiness, in and out of our sorrows and pains, in and out of our bad and good dreams, in and out of our abrupt and prolonged visions. We travel, travel in and out all the time – willingly and unwillingly.

What is our bent here? What is our thrust here? Are we waxing unusually philosophical? O dear! tarry a little your impatience.

Who ever you are or may be, and whatever your station in life, some day or time or moment you shall and must embark on one kind of travel or the other in the manner I have mentioned above. You must. By the way, is Dame Patience Goodluck Jonathan reading my lips which insist on the usage of ‘must’, if and when it ‘must’ be used as Governor Rotimi Amaechi did in the Dame’s presidential presence recently, to her great discomfiture which in turn insisted that her gubernatorial host ‘must’ not use ‘must’ in presenting and defending the policy thrust of his River State’s government? The Dame’s “You must listen to me!” as she thundered to the governor, still reverberates in the length and width of the place and surrounding where Her politically presidential Majesty had her glorious hour and colour.

Well, at times, when we travel, we suffer psychological dislocations and disruptions of bodily and emotional rhythms when we get to our respective destinations. And such dislocations and disruptions can cause us different kinds of ailments – some of which can result in diarrhoea of the mouth or some kind of convulsion of, again, the mouth which spews so many un-speakables. (Baba, I mean Uncle Sege, can testify to this and swear on my behalf that I am not only right, but also dead right). Okrika, the home village and home town as well of Dame Patience the Distempered and the impatiently Presidential wife of President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, recently witnessed convulsive and diarrhoial jetlag. The way and manner, O my O my! the Dame ran and ram her mouth against an outstanding democratically-legitimate Governor ( who will be Governor AGAIN come 2011 with the permission of the lurking tiger) was not only daringly un-damely but also annoyingly un-becoming of the wife of the President of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. But she is human and we can excuse her Deji-sm. ( You see, we are really all travellers who have our moments of fits, be you a President’s wife or a senator or a legislator or an Oba).

I want to believe that the President’s wife had some sorrows and pains and bad dreams travelling in and out of her, from Aso Rock to Okrika waterside. And at Okrika waterside, jetlag water spewed and spewed from her mouth and she did not really know what she said, and did in the full glare of the bewildered mammoth crowd she stood in front of  in her state of  near royal glory. O how she snatched the microphone from her flustered guest in her magisterial and majestic state devoid of Presidential grace!

Governor Amaechi and us all – including her husband the President – ought to forgive her, for she really did not know what befell her in Okrika . If she did, she definitely would not have alerted and  over-ruled the Bachelor of Arts ( Honours ) in English  graduate, Governor of River State on when and how to use ‘must’ and on when and how not to use ‘must’. Ideally, the visiting teacher of the compulsive usage and non-usage of ‘must’ should have been the pupil and student of her host, certainly not the other way round. The Dame and wife of our citizen number one ought to tender an open apology to Governor Rotimi Amaechi and the PEOPLE of Okrika and River State for her behaviour.

Of course, her husband also needs her apology which she should also tender openly and critically; not in their Aso Rock matrimonial bedroom.

Now, we  would also insist that our President scrutinizes his wife thoroughly before she embarks on her next travel to Okrika or anywhere. Our President shall watch out for any sign of travelling discomfiture in and out of his wife before her next journey – Presidential or un-Presidential, official or un-official, public or private. We insist that  the President does so, so long as he remains our President. In fact, he must – the offensive and diarrhoea-causing word again. The kind of disgrace his dame and nymph slammed on him must – again the convulsion-causing word – must, we repeat, not and never happen again. We don’t need that slam-bang again. Or is the President afraid of his nymph? And is she out of Presidential discipline, order and control?

If I am seen here or understood to be giving orders to my President, please, please blame my audacious “rudeness” on our First Lady who was less so at Okrika waterside.

Now I feel the need to hail Governor Amaechi for his gubernatorial restraint in the face of glaring Presidential Dame’s distemper. Of course, his cool and dignified silence and decorum and charm in the bad face of Okrikaic embarrassment we attribute to his respect for the high office of President Jonathan. We, however, reckon and acknowledge that he himself has been a marvellous traveller in the affairs of state and governance and of human emotions. His training in the Humanities has well equipped him to withstand travellers in the mold of the ever gallivanting and effervescent Lady J who truly, truly  has been luxuriating in the lucky luck of charming Goodluck J. And if we are modestly soft here in our treatment  of Lady J’s un-exemplary treatment of her office and her husband’s and Governor Amaechi’s ,who is also her governor, it is out of respect for the office of Lord J who sooner or later will be cajoled to step into the 2011 Presidential ring, which he shouldn’t, I advise and prophesy. I spewed this in an earlier piece here. I am spewing it again. May Lord J’s mind travel  in the same plane and altitude as mine – for his own good and the good of the Niger Delta and Nigeria. He should let us usher him into a bright courtyard.

Have I waxed philosophical after all? Have I?

MY AUTUMN WISH continues. Until it is otherwise stated, kindly reach me by proxy via This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or via 08055001746…. How enervating is the breeze of autumn! O how enervating! How enervating is this travelling breeze!

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