BIGboys in Abuja love to revel their days away at the most exclusive out- of-reach joints or relaxation spots around. NICON Luxury Hotel is one of such exclusive areas. At the close of last week, the hotel bar played host to two strange friends, Mr. Critic and Mr. Legislator. The encounter between the two could only produce explosive vibes.

Critic: (Cleared his troath after a long deep thought) Hmmm, power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Mr. Legislator: There you go again. Which power is corrupt this time, Jonathan the president?Critic: (broke into a loud pitch of laughter) Which President Jonathan are you referring to? Is your National Assembly not a haven for corruption?

Legislator: I beg your pardon. That can never be a place where corruption can sprout. Members only collect salaries and allowances. They do not dispense funds or money, so how would they steal?

Critic: I’m glad you dropped the word steal, and that brings to mind the standoff between you legislators and the CBN governor, Mallam Sanusi.
Legislator: You mean that arrogant, loquacious, self-conceited, rabble-rousing Mr Know all? We are determined to tame him. He has been too full of himself these days, so much garrulous that he never sees the institution of parliament as hallowed.

Critic: Hallowed?
Legislator: Yes, hallowed. We make laws for Nigeria, we appropriate money for the executive arm and we serve the interest of our constituencies. That role calls for respect for every member.

Critic: Oh, I should have known that you are all saints in the federal parliament. I should have known that you do not extort money from ministries, departments and agencies of government through your oversight functions. I should have known that you do not collect money for constituency projects. I should have known that you do not distort budget figures by padding it annually with funds meant to be shared at the end of the day. I should have known that…

Legislator: Now, cut it. You are talking out of ignorance. Sheer ignorance and I see you as a blind critic not fit to engage in a simple gainful debate. You goofed because legislators do not collect constituency votes. It is the right of the executive arm to vote money for constituency projects and find the means to execute them. We can only ensure implementation of projects. If you say legislators extort money from government people, has any minister, or Director General of any agency cried out to that effect? Do we even enjoy any fringe benefits for serving as much as those in the executive arm do?

Critic: Sanusi has pinned you people to the corner. He exposed you to high heavens that you spend 25 per cent of national votes. You have no defence for that.

Legislator: And he was told that the Senate and the House, put together, don’t spend more than 3.5 per cent of the national budget, but that the executive alone who are not up to members of the NASS consume a whooping N1.3 trillion. You will never see that as absurd.

Critic: But he did not recant on his earlier conclusion. He is the CBN governor; he sees what you don’t see. The man simply computed the unorthodox votes cooked by you people, conniving with government people, to conclude that you have been short-changing the government and Nigeria by 25 percent of national votes.

Legislator: Oh yes, and he failed to give proof.

Critic: Doing so would have amounted to time wasting. You people are corrupt, exceedingly corrupt, and the world knows it. Think about the motive behind the approval by the House and the Senate for N6.1 billion for the National Communications Commission (NCC) for SIM card registration. Can you beat that? How on earth can such huge sum be committed to mere registration of SIM card?

Legislator: That was an amount proposed by the executive, not National Assembly.

Critic: And must that amount be approved. What is the business of NCC in the registration of SIM cards? MTN, Zain, Glo, Etisalat, Multilinks, Starcoms and others have almost concluded the registration of SIM cards they supplied and I don’t think all of them put together deployed up to N1 billion for that.Legislator: I don’t see how the legislature is guilty of this. The NCC has its budget to defend.