How can I save my brother from his wife?

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How can I save my brother from his wife?

Thursday, 04 March 2010

Dear Readers,
She is a hostile wife; a threat to her mother-in-law and her husband's family. Our writer today needs your help on how to save her brother from his wife. Please, read and advise her. Thanks.
Monica Taiwo

Dear Taiwo,
Please, I need you and your teeming readers to advise me on how to handle this issue.

I am greatly disturbed by it. I could take an action that I feel is the best, but I am afraid of what people would say.

It is all about my elder brother; he is living in bondage. Unfortunately, he does not realise it, or should I say that he sees nothing wrong with the type of life he is living.

It would have been easy to ignore him and leave him to live the kind of life he has chosen for himself, but if I do that, posterity will definitely not forgive me.

This is because whatever I am today is by the grace of God and the assistance of my brother.My mother had just two of us and he is seven years older than I am. We lost our father when I was just three months old. As soon as he finished his National Diploma (ND) programme, he got a job with an engineering company. He also went into private business; with these, he was able to see me through school, up to masters level.

Fortunately, I got a good job after my masters programme and everything was okay until my brother got married to his wife Nike.

I really couldn't lay my hands on what Nike had against my mother. She never wanted my mother around my brother. Whenever she visited my brother, it was one problem or another.

When she had her first baby, my brother insisted that mum should come over and help take care of the baby. Nike didn’t like this. I don’t know why she didn’t like my mum coming over. If her mother was alive, Egbon (that is what I called my brother) said he would have asked her mum to come; but she died when she was still very young. So, Nike had no reason to reject my mother.

According to my mum, Nike hardly gives her food. She would call her names, but whenever her husband was around, she would behave nicely to her. Of course, mum did not report her because she knew that Egbon would not take it kindly with her.

We lost our mother last year July; it was a sad event for the two of us, but life must go on. I believed we had each other; but how wrong I was!

After mum’s burial, Nike began to treat me the way she treated our mum. Whenever I went to their house to see my brother, she was always hostile. I have a good job and I am comfortable and if going to see Egbon in his house would cause problems, I decided to stop visiting him at home. Whenever it is compulsory that we see each other, I visit him in his office, but we speak on the phone all the time.

I travelled to the United States of America last October from the office and by the time I returned just before Christmas, I met a different brother entirely.

I was shocked when my brother met me at the airport; he looked used and emaciated. I asked what happened, he told me he lost some money to a business deal and he had to pay back the money he borrowed from the bank.

Consequently, I raised some money for him but, of course, it wasn’t enough. This gave my brother a set- back. What I heard and saw in the past few weeks really saddened me.

I went to see my brother and he broke down and told me that his wife had stopped giving him food for over two weeks because he was unable to give her feeding allowance.

As he was telling me, Nike walked in and started shouting at me to leave her house. The embarrassment was so much that Egbon had to ask her to shut up and let me be.

Her reply shocked me. Nike said, “I have not finished dealing with you. I will make sure that I kill you if you are not careful. You are complaining that you don’t have money, by the time I am through with you, you will be eating from the refuse dump. Stupid son of a stupid mother. When your mother could not stay away, I sent her on a no-return trip. Be careful, I am warning you.”

Egbon and I were dumbfounded at her outburst.

Could she have killed mum? Could she be responsible for Egbon’s plight and why? I need an answer, but I don’t know how to go about it.

Ronke.

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Re: How can I save my brother
written by Olusegun T, March 04, 2010

With this type of woman, you need prayer very very well, you need to move closer to GOD. This woman did not start today but started a long time but you people left her alone out of sentiments for peace to reign. This type of thing happened to an uncle of mine and as at today, he is a wretched human being, lost his job and suffered from stroke and presently, my elder brother is in the same situation but only GOD can rescue such people.
However, we have to find out where the woman is from as this is a behaior typical of IJEBU women, as they are found of doing this type of evil thing. My uncle and my brother that it happened to all were involved with Ijebu women.

When you see Ijebu women, please flee for your life.

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written by Olusegun T, March 04, 2010

Na ijebu women dey do this kind of thing, a typical Ijebu behavior.

Mr
written by Ayo P, March 05, 2010

Let me say this to this young man.....Go to God in prayer and also consult the elders for wisdom. You have to be very strong to engage this battle. God will give you victory.

Now to Olusegun T, you are just an idiot for stereotyping people. My mum is Ijebu and she is a Christian, my wife is Ijebu and she is doing well. For you to just open your mouth at any convenient radius and exude some vituperations like that is very derogatory of the lineage you have just mentioned. Wherever you are from, don't you have witches among your own women? Be careful what you say about others.

Miss
written by adedipe adeola, March 05, 2010

i will advise you to move closer to God.Get a go good CAC church go there with your brother and in the name of Jesus and the power in his blood all chains will be broken. also tell your brother to flee the house for now till all chains are broken also you too stay away. Until you know you are spritual enough to deal with this battle. Mum is gone and she will rest in peace buts its time to fight a spiritual battle with your brother.
Trust God thats all we have.

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written by adedipe adeola, March 05, 2010

please this is not an issue of ijebu women.i am an ijebu woman and i am a strong christian with no inclination towards juju because i have christ that lives in me.

how can i savemy mother
written by akpanumoh Ubongabasi, March 05, 2010

my broda i will advice to tell ur brother that both of you should relocate without her knowing then you need prayers very well as for your son dont worry he will know you at the right time

Re: How can I save my brother
written by PRINCE KING, March 05, 2010

Bros, don't wait till she kill your only brother, with such utterances from her, then your brother or you is the next for her to be killed. Tell your bother to approach court, seeks for divorce and relocate. If you are alive you will live to tell your children the story of her evil mother.

How can I save my brother
written by Unknown, March 05, 2010

What ever happen to Human is either by self ego or lack-of-thinking. The previous comments that says only IJEBU Women that practice evil is baseless & mannerless...

From sources of researchers " Every Human being inborn one bad habit i.e. male/female, when expressing opinion about anything on net/whatever platform remember the WHOLE-WORLD are listening & reading as well...

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written by moses, March 05, 2010

Be very much prayerful

RE: HOW CAN I SAVE MY BROTHER FROM HIS WIFE
written by Adeniji Adewale, March 05, 2010

You have to go to true pastors of God and not the ones who only pretend to be one. Nothing will be too much for you to do for this brother of your's with what he has done in your life too. This is a time she needs you so much. No doubt, she married the wrong wife but that can still be corrected. He can be free from this woman only through spiritual means without which he is doom for ever. Constant preyer and fasting is what will work at this time but also with the help of true men of God. That is the only way out else, very soon, your brother will go the same way you mum has gone. She confessed to you people already and that is because you're both powerless. The time for you to act is now. Don't wait till she extend the spiritual battle to you, please.

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written by Joseph, March 05, 2010

The big question is: was he blindfolded when he was corting with the woman, atleast he should have been able to forsee the kind of beheviour from her before geting married to her, even the younger sister should have been able to notice these from the beginning. Well the mistake has been done; is not time we begin to discreeminate tribe, one advice i have him is to remain steadfast to GOD, even if the woman is not respecting him, he should just try and accept his fate. But one thing is for sure the woman will surely regret this, when so many are crying outside of not been able to get husband, now she's treating her own hashfully, if only she have someone giving her advice i don't think she will be beheving like that. First of all since the woman has treathened to kill him the best thing for him to do now is to leave to home for her and let her stay alone, because "It is only when there is life that there's hope".

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written by Gordon Chukwudi, March 05, 2010

The battle is not carnal but spiritual and the two of you should go to GOD in prayer while the husband have to flee the house for now, leaving the woman alone. @ Ayo P, it is bad manner for you to be calling people idiot online. I'm in agreement with the first commentator, this practice is very common to Ijebu women and that is why people from Ondo/Ekiti states don't want their sons to marry Ijebu women. All the same bad women are everywhere but statistics shown that they are more prevalent in some areas than others.

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written by Emma, March 06, 2010

Don't involue your self too much on this issue but be involve because if she knows u are takin a step to deliver him she may deal with u also,just pretend as if u are not concern,but find all means of coming closer to her play with her and fire her underneath.in this situation only God can help.After all problem as be solve u can take your brother to USA am 100% sure before u are back she must have being reaping the fruit of her labour.u need to pray very hard.God will be with u.

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written by Iyabo - Ibadan, March 08, 2010

The story is one sided, it may be difficult to pin-point the fact. Tribe or no tribe, the world is full of misery. How can one claimed to love a person today and threatened to kill him/her tomorrow? The man might have violated whatever joined them together but the woman should have at least have pity for the sake of her child/children. Let a man of God intervene and the man to pray without ceasing. If he runs or not, the unseen hands may get him if he is not in God's side.

Prayers
written by Ay, March 08, 2010

Take the case to God, out of every nonsense yoor wife brother profesed with her mouth, there is a sense that you should take action. GO to MFM or CAC. God will fight for you. Psalm 18 and Psalm 35 will work expressly for you.

Mr.
written by Paul Uzoechi, March 08, 2010

Please, my dear brother, many people had advised you. The proper action to take lies on you. God is the only solution, no pwer can withstand His. The Bible says: At the Name of Jesus, every knee Shall bow, every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord...He is the Almighty. So no matter where your sister-in-law comes from, she cannot withstand the power of Jesus name. Let your brother not divorce her. Rather, take him to your house, seek a reliable man of God, you can go to the redemption Camp of RCCG, meet Papa Adeboye to pray for you people. Surely, victory shall be yours in Jesus name. Amen.

PRAY
written by desh, March 08, 2010

Stand up and pray. It may not be a quick solution for you and your brother but with GOD all things are possible. God may decide to try us with such when we seem far away from him. I Have to honest to you sis, how strong you and your brother faith? It may be your cross to carry! and you have change from thinking otherwise and follow Christ alone. It never going to be easy in such cases, but the Almighty God will see you through, if she truly she depend on her evils deeds definetely Christ supassed every demonic power. Becareful to take things harsh on her, treat her with all kindness and make her a born again and you too. Pls PRAY! Thank you

Don't go to any pastor
written by Rasheed A. Ahmed [Lansing, USA], March 14, 2010

Your brother’s problem is half-solved. I will recommend that your brother should resort to fasting and intense prayer for at least three days. The prayer should be laced with petition to God concerning what he actually wants God to do for him – your brother knows what he desire most and he should tell it to God before breaking the fasting.
Fasting is a good recourse since his wife has stopped giving him food - except that it has the added effect of quickening the acceptance of prayers (spiritual dimension) and helping the body organs to take some rest (medicinal). God gave every human being the infinite intelligence to communicate to Him through the ether and with abiding faith and trust in the power of God (very paramount), his prayers shall be answered.

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written by emeka china, March 16, 2010

my brother are sure of what you are telling the world?then if you are sure of what you are saying then your brother has no problem at all.then are you sure that your brother is tired of this marriage?then if your brother is tired.no need to beging to run from one pastor or babalawo to the others.let him just proceed to any custormary court and divorce her immiediately without wasting much of his time with pastors.after all many pastors are going through the same problem in they marriagies but their are ashamed to let anybody know about it.then the last thing is this.call your brother out for a private discussion.ask him to tell you the whole truth if there is any way he has offend his wife.bcos.no smoke without fire.then forget people telling you about ijebu or yemen women a man can only get what he wants in a woman.bad women and bad men are everywhere.nigerians should learn that there is nothing wrong with divorce instead a woman or man should live in bondage all in the name of marriage.its better for each other to go they saperate ways so that they can be alive to tell their stories. smilies/cheesy.gif

How can i save my brother
written by Aderonke, March 16, 2010

Ronke,i believe the only thing u can do is to pray den try to take ur brother from home

Ijesha people too nko?
written by Thomas Iginla, March 16, 2010

My family has been going through the same thing for over 15 years. I share your sentiments about your concern for your brother. My brother is the eldest and he sent the rest of us his siblings to school up to university. Since he married his wife, an Ijesa and we are Ijesa too, his life has been upside down. A man who bought his first peugeot 504 station wagon cash down in 1979 before he married,( he was a weld paid surveyor with one of these foreign construction firms) now takes public transport. The wife does not want to have anything to do with us. We too naively "let piece reign", we thought after all we were all adult professionals (trained by this man) and born-again, so we let them alone. After all, no of us or our children was looking for an "egbon" to stay with. For no reason my brother has fought with all of us and Mama. In fact one of my sisters wrote him off out of her life saying " i have my husband house too and will not let any one rubbish me'. The few times my siblings and I were able to get hold of our brother, he would talk normal, smile and say things are OK but we know they are not. the wife never calls. I visit more than the rest but the house is dull. You give the wife and her children money (I mean reasonable amount because we treat as "iyawo broda wa", she will not call to say thanks. I presently live outside the country and I make it a point of duty to visit and sleep over as mark of respect to someone who has been a father to me (paid for my school up to university)but those visits were not exciting. I do that because i have a strong faith in the blood of Jesus. None of my siblings in the last ten years has visited "Broda" and slept over in his house for any reason. And yet this man belongs to a one of the foremost evangelical/ pentecostal denomination in Nigeria. His situation brought a lot of pain to my mother but thankfully she went home to rest last year.
So una say the other woman no becos she be ijebu, but our own wife na ijesa and we be ijesa people too

Re: How can I save my brother from his wife
written by Remsin, March 17, 2010

Well, there is notthing too big for God to do. I want you to allow God for intervine.Pray to Him often and take the step He will show to you, because pray without action is useless.