All praise is due to Allah, the One who said in His book:

    “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.”

May the prayers and peace of Allah be upon His Prophet Muhammad, the one who said in an authenticated hadith: “Marry the loving and fertile, for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my followers on the Day of Qiyama”.

There are in Islam, certain etiquettes upon anyone who marries and wishes to consummate his marriage with his wife. Most Muslims today, even those who exert themselves in Islamic worship, have either neglected or become totally ignorant of these Islamic etiquettes.

It should be known that there are many etiquettes in the area of marriage.

Allah says: “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.”

The final disposition of things is for those of pious practise, as the Lord of the Worlds said:

As to the Righteous, they shall be amidst (cool) shades and springs (of water). And (they shall have) fruits, - all they desire. “Eat ye and drink ye to your heart’s content: for that ye worked (righteousness).” Thus do We certainly reward the Doers of Good.
[al-Mursalaat 77:41-44]

The following are those etiquettes:
1. Kindness toward your wife when you wish to enter into her
It is desirable, when one goes into his wife on his wedding night, to show her kindness, such as presenting her with something to drink, etc. This is found in the hadith narrated by Asmaa’ bint Yazid ibn As-Sakan who said: “I beautified ‘As’ishah for Allaah’s Messenger, then called him to come to see her unveiled. He came, sat next to her, and brought a large cup of milk from which he drank. Then, he offered it to ‘Aa’ishah, but she lowered her head and felt shy. I scolded her and said to her: “Take from the hand of the Prophet.” She then took it and drank some. Then, the Prophet said to her, “Give some to your companion.” At that point, I said: “O Messenger of Allaah, rather take it yourself and drink, and then give it to me from your hand.” He took it, drank some, and then offered it to me. I sat down and put it on my kness. Then, I began rotating it and following it with my lips in order that I might hit the spot from which the Prophet had drunk. Then, the Prophet said about some women who were there with me: “Give them some.” But, they said: “We don’t want it.” (ie. we are not hungry). The Prophet said: “Do not combine hunger and fibbing!” [Ahmad and al-Humaidi. Ahmad reports it with 2 isnaads - one of which supports the other, and it is supported...]”

2. Placing your hands on your wife’s head and praying for her.
The husband should, at the time of consummating the marriage with his wife or before that, place his hand on the front part of her head, mention the name of Allah Most High, and pray for Allah’s blessings. As in the statement of the Prophet: “When any of you marries a woman ... he should hold her forelock, mention Allah Most High, and pray for His blessings saying: “O Allaah, I ask You for the good in her and the good with which You have created her, and I seek refuge in You from the evil in her and the evil with which You have created her.” {Allaahumma innee as’aluka min khairiha wa khairi maa jabaltaha ‘alaihi wa a’oodhubika min sharriha wa sharri maa jabaltaha ‘alaihi} [Aboo Dawood and others. Al-Bukhari in “Af’aalul-’Ibaad”, Aboo Dawood, Ibn Majah, al-Haakim, al-Baihaqee and Aboo Ya’laa with hasan isnaad ...]

3. The praying of husband and wife together
It is desirable for the husband and wife to pray together on their wedding night. This has been narrated from the earliest generation of Muslims, as in the following narrations:

First: On the authority of Abu Sa’eed Mawla Abu Asyad who said: “I got married while I was a slave. I invited a number of the companions of the Prophet, among them was Ibn Mas’ood, Abu Dharr and Hudhaifa. When the prayer was called, Abu Dharr began to step forward when the others said to him: ‘No!’ He said: ‘Is it so?’ And they said: ‘Yes.’ Then, I stepped forward and led the prayer though I was a slave possessed. They taught me, saying: ‘When your wife comes to you, pray two rakaat. Then, ask Allaah for the good of that which has come to you, and seek refuge in Him from its evil. Then it is up to you and it is up to your wife.’” [Ibn Abi Shaibah and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq]

Second: On the authority of Shaqeeq who said: “A man named Abu Hareez came and said: ‘I have married a young girl, and I am afraid that she will despise me.’ ‘Abdullah ibn Mas’ood said to him: “Verily, closeness is from Allaah, and hatred is from Shaitaan, who wishes to make despicable that which Allaah has allowed. So, when your wife comes to you, tell her to pray behind you two rakaat.’” In another version of the same story, “‘Abdullah went on to say: ‘And say: ‘O Allah give Your blessings on me in my wife, and to her in me. O Allaah join us together as long as You join us in good, and split us apart if You send to us that which is better.’” [Ibn Abi Shaibah and at-Tabaraani and ‘Abdur-Razzaaq: Saheeh].

4. What to say at the time of making Love
When a Muslim man is about to enter his wife, he should always say first:
Bismillahi, Allahumma jannibnaa ash-shaitaan, wa jannib ash-shaitaan maa razaqtanna
[In the name of Allah, O Allah, keep us away from the devil, and keep the devil away from that which You may grant us (ie. offspring).]
About this, the Prophet said: “After that, if Allah decrees that they will have a child, the devil will never be able to harm that child”. [al-Bukharee][1]

FOOTNOTE:
[Some Scholars say that children are disobedient to their parents usually because the parents forget/forgot to say the above duaa before having sex.

5. How he should come to her
It is allowed for a Muslim man to enter his wife in her vagina from any direction he wishes - from behind or from the front. About this Allaah revealed the following verse:

“Your wives are a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will” [al-Baqarah 2:223]

There are also various hadith on this subject.

On the authority of Jaabir who said: “The Jews used to say that if a man entered his wife in the vagina but from behind, their child would be cross-eyed! Then Allaah revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you; so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223]. The Prophet said : “From the front or the back, as long as it is in the vagina”. [Al-Bukharee and Muslim]

    On the authority of Ibn ‘Abbaas who said: “The Ansaar, who had been polytheists, lived with the Jews, who were people of the book. The former viewed the latter as being superior to them in knowledge, and used to follow their example in many things. The people of the book would only make love to their wives from the side, this being the most modest way for the woman, and the Ansaar had followed their example in that. These people from the Quraish, on the other hand, used to expose their women in an uncomely manner. They took pleasure in them from the front, from the back, or laid out flat. When the Makkans came to al-Madeenah at the time of the Hijrah, one of them married a woman from among the Ansaar, and began doing that with her. She disapproved of it and told him:

“We used only to be approached from the side, so do that or stay away from me!” This dispute became very serious until it reached the ears of the Prophet. So Allaah, revealed the verse: “Your wives are as a tilth unto you, so approach your tilth when or how ye will;” [al-Baqarah 2:223] (ie. from the front, the back, or laid out flat). What is meant here is the entry which produces children.” [Aboo Dawood, al-Haakim and others: Hasan isnaad and is supported].

Culled from zaway .com
(To be continued)