HE retired in the rank of rear admiral.He may like to hug the rear, but we are certain that he is not like the rear admiral Jane Austin writes about in Mansfield Park. Austin’s character’s understanding of rear is derriere, which is French for a woman’s backside. Our man, we have been told, has eyes only for his wife.

HIS name is Jonah, a name that conjures up the claustrophobic horror of the biblical figure who spent three days in the belly of a whale. Some Jonahs, like the one in Plateau State, are not assertive and sometimes throw up their hands in sickening helplessness.

HIS full name is John Jonah and he will sit in the stern if the Peoples Democratic Party (PDP) wins the governorship election in Bayelsa State in February. A landlubber will be at the helm. Rear Admiral Jonah will be Mr Seriake Dickson’s running mate in the election and his deputy if the PDP wins the election.

ADMIRAL Jonah’s readiness to bow to a landlubber occupying the bows, especially in a riverine state like Bayelsa, must upset many old sailors. But they miss the point. Admiral Jonah will be given enough fish by his captain if he is good and does not react to provocations like Herman Melville’s Billy Budd.

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