The labour room guest

By Taiwo Akinlembola

CHILDREN are God’s blessing. In fact, the Bible describes them as God’s heritage, and blessed is that man who has his home/house filled with them.

To bring a child into the world, both parents have a responsibility which is clearly spelt out by God and nature. Everyone agrees that it is the duty of the woman to carry the pregnancy for nine months. And when it is God’s time for the baby to be born, the mother has to travail to bring the baby forth.

Though men don’t have wombs to carry babies, every reasonable and responsible man goes the nine months with his wife. This is because aside from being part of the making of the baby, he has a duty to support his wife and see that the baby comes into the world safely.

To ensure this, most men encourage their wives to register in good hospitals where she can receive good ante-natal care. Some men take a step further to make sure they take their wives to the ante-natal clinic on their clinic days.

When it is time for the baby to come, the best most Nigerian men do is to take their wives to the clinic and disappear somewhere to await the good news. Some of them who are strong enough stay behind and pace the hospital corridors up and down. God knows how many kilometers a man in such state would walk in an hour in the confines of the hospital’s waiting room.

Unlike what operates overseas, where husbands are automatically guests in the labour room, most hospitals here do not encourage it and even if they do, most men are not bold enough to want to witness birth process. This was the question Men’s Roundtable went to town with this weekto know if men can stand by their wives in the labour room.

Here are some responses from some men ...... Tade Olujimi, banker: I don’t really think I can stand it. Thank God Nigerian hospitals do not enforce it. My wife and I have three kids (all boys) and I have told her I don’t want any other kid but she’s insisting she wants to try another, in case it would be a girl.

Honestly, I wonder where these women get the strength from. Do you know that the trauma is not only about the labour ward? It begins right from conception. Yet they still want more.

The long and short of it is that I don’t want to witness it o. I have had enough with the one I studied in Biology when I was in school.

Anonymous:– I witnessed it once and I told my wife that she would not go through it again. It wasn’t that I actually wanted to be there but she forgot some of the things she was asked to bring along to the hospital so I had to go and bring them from home.

I rushed into the labour room at the point the baby was coming out. Ha! I almost fainted. I can’t forget what I saw. That was about seven years ago. I must confess, it made me respect her the more. I would love to be by her side to share her pains had it been we wanted another one, but since we’ve had enough, then it’s over.

Idris Mohammed, businessman: Either by omission or commission, I am always out of town when my wife delivers our babies. I don’t know how it happens but that’s how it was with the two kids we had.

I don’t know if I would want to be in the labour ward with her or not, but if necessity demands, I guess I have no choice but to stay with her, because it takes two to make a baby.

Michael Lewis, medical doctor: I have done it once and I honestly don’t think I want to do it again. When I was relaying my experience with some of my friends, they felt that as a doctor I should be able to stand it, but you know how it is if the patient is our family, not to talk of being your better half and with you knowing you contributed in no small quota to the condition she is in. So you can imagine what it could be like.

That was our first child, if the next one is coming, I would not do it again. Stephen Briggs, Artist: I am newly wedded, my wife put to bed just a few days after our wedding. You know how it is if you just got married. I went into the labour room and I can tell you it was a bitter - sweet experience. I was there with her from the very time she fell in labour. Fortunately, it was a Sunday, so I had no cause to rush anywhere.

I can say that women are very strong and brave. I could feel the pain she was going through everytime she had a contraction, yet she was still trying to be brave for me. She would look at me and smile through her pains.

When the baby was finally making his way out, she screamed so much that I actually did too unconsciously. You know what, that day I felt like sharing her pains, but believe me that is one pain you can’t share but you can only help with prayers.

The experience actually made me to respect and appreciate her more. Not only my wife, I appreciate women a lot.