Are men worth the pains?

Updated: Friday 27-03-2009

TUNDE had just concluded his one year compulsory service to his country (NYSC) and was on his way home. He boarded a vehicle and immediately he entered the vehicle, he started complaining about the present economic situation in the country. He said that he was not even sure if he could get a job in the next three years.

Meanwhile, there was a lady seated beside him in the vehicle who had been listening to his bitter complaints. The lady could feel his bitterness and she decided to interact with him, trying to persuade him to stop complaining. From there, they got talking and after having introduced each other, they exchanged addresses and phone numbers. The lady, Sade by name, promised to get in touch Tunde and also promised to get him a job as soon as possible.

A week later, Tunde paid a visit to Sade’s place and from there, they went to Sade’s uncle who was a big businessman to see if he could get Tunde a job. This he did willingly, Sade’s uncle got Tunde a very good and lucrative job just by calling one of his associates.

Later on, Tunde got so intimate with Sade that they became inseparable and afterwards, became lovers. Two years after this, they tied the nuptial knots; they became husband and wife.

Sade was a very good wife who did her best to please her husband and his family but exactly a year after their marriage, Tunde started showing his true colour. He began by keeping late nights and coming home drunk. He had extra-marital affairs not only with a single lady, but he had chains of girlfriends. In short, anything in skirt appealed to Tunde and he even did it to the extent of chasing secondary school girls around. This was a shock to Sade, but she decided to keep her cool.

Tunde’s family did not make matters light for her either; they were always reminding her of their need for a grandchild since she had not gotten pregnant after her marriage.

Three years after marriage, God answered Sade’s prayers and she became pregnant. Tunde was not around the day she went for the pregnancy test in the hospital, he had gone on one of his trips overseas. Sade, despite this, never stopped loving him and she put behind her anything Tunde and his family might have done to offend her.

After Sade became aware of her pregnancy, she couldn’t wait to share the news with her husband, she waited eagerly for him to return. Unfortunately for her, things didn’t turn out to be the way she expected because that night, Tunde kept his usual lateness and even when he came home, he was so drunk that Sade could not tell him anything. Instead, she had to confront him and asked him the reason he was doing all he was doing, but instead of listening to his wife, Tunde pounced on his wife and aimed at her stomach as if someone had told him of the pregnancy.

Sade became unconscious after the fight but this brought Tunde to consciousness. Seeing his wife lying on the floor, he realised what he had done and called on his neighbours for help. It was with the neighbours’ help that he carried his wife to the hospital.

When Sade’s parents heard about this, they felt bitter and told her to follow them home. Sade baffled her parents with her reply. She said she was ready to cope with whatever happened between Tunde and herself since they swore to be with each ather ‘for better for worse.’ She was later discharged from the hospital after having lost her two-month-old pregnancy.

This incident left Tunde sober and remorse until a year later when Sade became pregnant again. Then, Tunde, returned to his vices and became worse than before. Sade, out of despair, was forced to visit some of Tunde’s girlfriends to warn them to leave her husband but this generated into a fresh trouble that almost cost her life. Strictly Femail went out to seek people’s opinion on this issue, is Tunde worth all these pains or are men worth the pains they put women through? These are their responses:
Mrs Helen Oluseun: It depends on the type of man he really is. There are some men out there who are worth it and there are some who are not. To help a man is not my problem even if he later repays me good for evil. To help be our brother’s keeper is the Lord’s commandment, so there is nothing wrong with it.

Mrs Bukky Aliyu:
God forbid. I can’t kill myself because of a man. At the end of the day, after going through thick and thin with him, he’ll forget everything and go ahead to marry another wife. It’s not worth it.

Mrs Uchenna Uba: It’s not all men that are bad. One thing to know is that, if we refuse to help our men, then what examples are we laying down for our children? We should know that there are still some out there who are worth the pain.

Seun Oyemade, Student: The world has become a bad place to the extent that we don’t trust our men any longer, but the issue is, there are still some men out there that are worth the pain, they are only so few.

Sola Akinyemi:
As a man, I can’t take sides with men I only know myself in and out, and not all men. If a woman says that I am worth the headache, then so be it and if not, then I have to check my ways, my life, my behaviour, and relationship towards her, those things that are making her sad about me and then try as much as possible to right every wrong thing.