Of teenage courtship and marriage

By Tayo Ligali

Hi Tayo, I really love what you are doing. I think it is the best. Well, I want you to enlighten me on this topic: Young courtship and teenage marriage. +2348075979627.

Teenage years are often filled with emotional drama, coupled with the awkardness of puberty.

In the case of boys, the male hormones play a vital part in their development, it influences them physically, mentaly and emotionally. Teenage girls apart from contending with the physical changes that occur in their bodies, also have to cope with advances from the opposite sex and also begin to react to their surroundings.

They are more aware of themselves and spend time and energy reading books and magazines in order to learn ‘stuffs’ their parents won’t teach them at home. They are curious about boys, romance and sex so, they search magazines and the internet for articles about ‘first date,’ courtship,’ romance’ and ‘the joy of sex.’

Since these girls are impressionable, they believe in everything they read in magazine and the love stories they watch on tv. Teenage boys too, after reading Playboy and other pornographic magazines think they have to be sexually experienced before they can be considered as a real man. So, the game begins...

A boy sees a girl he likes and makes the first move. Initially, the girl will pretend as if she is not interested while sizing the guy up. After some persuasion, the girl who had been ready for the picking since the day she started reading romance stories and watching romantic films and soaps would give in and agree to a date.

And before the girl knows it, she is so much in love with the boy and is now thinking about happily ever after. The boy who is not as emotional as the girl on the other hand would start thinking of getting laid.

He then becomes preoccupied with sex and start looking for ways of getting “his babe to bed.” Some weeks or months into the relationships, he will start pestering the girl for sex.

If the girl says no, he will try to convince her that sex is an important part of any relationship the only proof that she loves him. The girl will eventually have to bow to pressure, not only from her boyfriend but from her friends who would be asking her, “have you two had fun?”

If she says no, they would start mocking her and calling her names like mummy’s girl, ”old school,” among others until she joins the bandwagon of teenagers who engage in pre marital sex.

For many young people sex is acceptable in relationships especially because promiscuity is everywhere these days. Most people are not ready to ‘zip up’ until their wedding nights. However, most of them end up regretting their decision to have sex and often wished they had waited.

One of the reasons for teenage marriage is teenage pregnancy. When, the girl gets pregnant and refuses to go for an abortion, the teenage lovers may be forced to get married.

Indeed, most people who got married as a teenagers did so because they discovered their lovemaking had resulted into pregnancy. And because marriages like these were not planned for, they usually fail. This is as a result of the fact that marriage is for matured people.Even if the teenage couple love each other, their chances of having a successful marriage is 20%.

Studies carried out by psychologists have shown that teenage marriage had a worse survival rate than that of adult marriages. Adult marriages too have a hard enough time staying together even with maturity involved on the part of both couples.

There is no marriage that is hundred per cent perfect because all couples have arguments and disagreements. It therefore takes a lot of hard work, determination and dedication for any marriage to last long. A teenage couple will find it daunting to cope with the realities of marriage—living with your partners flaws, coping with the in-laws, the challenges of being a parent , among others.

Teenage bride are often at the mercies of their spouse since most of them do not have the means to be financially independent and therefore live in poverty. Not only that, they are at the risk of being physically abused because they lack the means-work or education experience to fall back on if the marriage crumbles so, they would rather stay in such marriages and endure the emotional and physical pains of abuse.

Marriage requires serious commitments and it is an institution that teenagers should not rush into if they do not want to rush out of it or spend the rest of the lives living in a “loveless marriage.”

Teenagers can have relationships if they would steer clear of sex but they should never consider getting married until they are physically, financially and emotionally matured to so. Finally, always have it at the back of your mind that if you marry at eighteen, you might end up becoming a divorcee at twenty-two.

To avoid this, as a teenager, let marriage be the last thing on your mind for now!