He ruined my life, now he wants to take my daughter (2)

Today's writer gave all she had for love. Her supposed fiance paid her back in a bad turn 22 years ago. He came back out of the blue recently demanding to take away her only source of joy. She wants you to counsel her on how to handle this situation.
Thanks for your contributions always.
Cheers, Monica Taiwo
( continued from last week)

Dear Taiwo,
Towards the time I was to be delivered of my baby, he won a scholarship for a short course in South Africa, so on the day I delivered, it was his mum who came to the hospital. Papa (that is what we call his dad) did not come, we learnt he was ill. So we agreed that when the baby and I were discharged from the hospital, we would go and see him then I would go to our supposed home in Ikeja.

As we were entering the gate to their compound, which housed the church and their residence, I saw that a young lady and an elderly woman were stepping out of a 504 salon car. The elderly woman also carried a newborn baby, wrapped in a shawl. They were moving towards the house, I thought they were church members and my mother and I entered the sitting room just after them. We then discovered that Papa wasn’t sick, as we had been told. He stretched his arms and carried the other baby and his wife took mine. They asked us to take our seats, after which Papa started a long story at the end of which he said that both babies belonged to my supposed fiancé and after consulting with God and considering some factors, they had decided to accept the other baby. One, he was a boy, two, the mother was not a converted Christian; she had been with them in the church for long and after consultation with their father, my fiancé, he said he would prefer the baby boy.

I did not know what happened afterwards because I fainted. I woke up at the hospital and saw my mum and sister crying. I asked her to take the bunch of keys to the apartment we rented and move my things there so that I can go there when I was discharged as I was informed that the doctor said he won’t allow me go home that day. When my mother got there, she discovered that the keys had been changed. I couldn’t believe this and I asked to be taken there after discharge from the hospital. I got there and discovered that, that was exactly what had happened.

I had no choice but to go back home with my mother and await his return from his two-week course. At that time, communication was not as easy as we have now, after trying his hotel number severally and not being able to reach him, we decided to wait. When it was a day to the naming ceremony, my mother went to Papa’s place to find out what would happen the next day. She met them in the midst of great preparation and saw my fiancé’s car, but she was told he had not returned. Papa told her that we should handle it our way, since the baby’s father was not around and he did not know his plans.

My mother was shocked, but we had enough time to plan a naming ceremony too. We did, thank God my mother was not poor. My senior brother who was abroad also learnt of all that happened and asked my mother to come to England with me and the baby as soon as I was able to travel. We kept waiting for my fiancé to come but he did not show up. My mother went back to his parents' house several times, but they kept telling her that he wasn’t back.

After four months, I learnt from my cousin who introduced him to me that he had returned even before I gave birth but had been avoiding him. He told me when we could meet him at home (Adeniyi Jones). My mother and some of my relatives and I went to see him later. We met him home quite all right with his wife and baby and his mother. Believe me he had no apologies or explanation, for his behaviour, he was even confrontational. I asked him to explain why he felt another woman should enjoy the fruit of my labour. When it got to this, my mother asked that we left. We did and that was all I heard from him until recently that he came back. Lagos is very big, but not so big that we did not meet each other. We met a couple of times but had nothing to say to each other.

I did not go back to the bank, I went back to school for my degree and travelled abroad for my masters while my daughter stayed with my mother. I came back and set up my own outfit and I started a new life for myself, without a man. My mother tried to talk me into getting married again but I won’t hear of it. By the grace of God, my daughter went to one of the best schools in England, courtesy my senior brother. I used to go over to visit her and my mother was also going to see her. When my mother marked her 70th birthday in the first week of December, my brother, the entire children came home to celebrate with her. After the celebration,my daughter and my brother’s kids stayed behind in the country for sometime. I don’t know how this man got my number, he started calling that he wanted to come and see his daughter. Initially, he begged me, but now he’s becoming aggressive about it.

Meanwhile, at the time my daughter was to travel overseas at the age of 16 years, I told her everything about herself, because I did not want her to hear from another source. When she got to England and was about to start school, she called to inform me that she had changed her name to my surname, as she didn't think she wanted anything to do with her father. I made my research, and learnt that the baby boy that was preferred to my daughter 22 years ago, is now a tout in one of the car parks. He has two other siblings who are not doing well too.

He had moved his family from the Adeniyi Jones apartment a long time ago and now he and his family are back at his father’s place. He had also left journalism and is unemployed at present. In short, he is not living well. He looked for my cousin and told him that he had moved from pillar to post praying and he was told repeatedly that he should go and reconcile with me that I was his God -chosen wife from heaven and that if he did not reconcile with my daughter and I, he would remain like that. Can you imagine? Maybe he felt I was the naive person he left 22 years ago. If he had not become wretched, he wouldn’t come looking for me and my daughter. The most painful thing is that my mum who witnessed my pains and mystery wants me to give him a chance and forgive him. Taiwo, please help me.

Anonymous.