Sex: How do you kick off with your partner?

By Adebayo Segun

LekanHENRY and Teniola met at their favourite joint one Saturday night and while enjoying themselves with chilled bottles of their favourite drinks engaged in discussion.

At a point , the topic turned to sex. Teniola told his friend that whenever he was in the mood for sex, he would be attentive to his wife and shower love and affection on her.

“My brother, I learnt when I was still a playboy that while sex is a physical thing for most men, women see it as a combination of emotion and physical feelings.

“That is why women are not as easily aroused as men. When a man sees a beautiful lady, he starts thinking of sex but it will take women more than that to hop into bed with you. Women respond mostly to sweet words, loving looks and touches as well as a romantic setting. Most of them need to engage in pleasurable foreplay before engaging in actual act.

“So whenever I’m in the mood for sex, that is when I show my wife what the white people call,TLC(Tender Loving Care).

“I will assist her in the kitchen when she is cooking and help her to clean up afterwards. While we’re doing all these chores, I’ll make sure I touch her as many times as possible so as to ignite her passion..

“I’ll even offer to give her a massage just to get her in the mood. And I tell you, my technique always works wonders with my wife”, he said.

Henry responded that, “my friend that is rubbish. When you are not an oyinbo man how can you through so much stress just because you want your wife to perform her marital responsibilities.

“As the head of my family, what I do whenever I feel like having sex with my wife is to go to the bathroom take a bath and tie a towel round my waist. When I do this, my wife usually gets the message.

“She would have to round off what she was doing at the time. After which she too must proceed to the bathroom to shower then get into bed for the action to begin”, he posited.

God created us in such a way that no two persons are the same. That is why one man’s meat can be another man’s poison.

What will stimulate one man into arousal will be different from the other. One man might be turned on by a lady’s legs while the other might be aroused just by looking at her lips.

So also, the way each person reacts when aroused differs.
One man may be able to control his desire, in order to ignite passion in his partner while the other may not be able to wait for long before seeking fulfillment.. Such a person does not care whether his partner is in the mood or not as long as he can satisfies his own sexual needs.

Relationaships was in town to sample people’s opinion on the issue. We asked them, how do you let your partner know you are in the mood for sex? Excerpts:

Olajide Wasiu, Teacher: Most times, what I normally do is to start by caressing her back then place gentle kisses on her shoulder or run my fingers over her lips. When I do this, she knows I am in the mood.

Adefemi Samuel, Student: Letting her know I am in the mood is a not a special thing. All I need to do is tell her I want her and I need her so badly.

Sola Anifowose, Engineer :I do that by telling her how much she means to me, how much I care for her and why. I always make sure my sexual approach is effective so that there will be no failure in communication.

Adeniyi Samuel, Civil Servant: I always show her extra commitment whenever I want her to know I am in the mood for sex. I will devote more attention to her, telling her I love her with a deep and sexy voice.

Lekan Adebayo, Accountant: Nothing says ‘I love you’ by putting up a good display of emotion. So what I normally do is to make the first move by touching her tenderly, kissing her softly and holding her close to me.After that things will take its natural course.

Adeniyi Moruf, Car washer: I always make her feel emotional. We are both used to each other, the feeling will get to a level where she wont be able to resist my sexual overtures.

Jelili Olagunju, Technician: There is a game I instigated and it is a pillow fight. She knows that I am in the mood whenever I start that game. We will begin by throwing pillows at each other and after some time, she will lie back and allow me to ignite her senses.

Salawu Tunde, Tailor: I wouldn’t like to make that public but I believe she knows me very well. She has this manner of reading my emotional feelings when I have the desire for sex.

Kolawole Rufai, Journalist: I will relax my partner by massaging her with gentle fingers and later rain kisses on her . I make use ofgentle touches to complement my action.

Shoyombo Sholana, Student: I do reflect the mood byplaying romantic music for her. I also seduce her with erotic suggestions and when it’s time, I let my actions do the talking.