‘For Your Marriage To Work, You Must Be Very Patient’

Ekama AwaraMrs. Ekama Emmanuel Awara is the Cross River State Commissioner for Women Affairs. She recently spoke with Yemisi Aofolaju on the activities of her ministry and the plans to refocus the aspiration of women towards a more meaningful life.

What are the goals of your ministry?
WOMEN emancipation. Our aim is to give women a focus, a new direction. We want to take women from their present level to the next level. As I came on board, I discovered that our women are not just there. Our women are not where they are supposed to be, and our women are not really taking part in the polity of the state. So, my aim as the Commissioner for Women Affairs, is to systematically take the women of Cross Rivers State to the next level – that is from a level of dependent to an independent woman.

Can you describe a typical Cross River woman?
A typical Cross River woman is poor and based in the rural area. In the urban areas, the women are doing well; but in the rural areas, nothing has reached them. And that is our target and our goal and the goal of our governor – to touch the lives of the rural people. It is only when the lives of the rural people are touched meaningfully that the generality of the population will have a better living and life.

Are there specific programmes for the young ladies/youths?
Right now, we are seriously working on their attitude. By the time we make them change their attitude and perception to life, I think they will change everything about themselves. The wife of our governor has a programme called Mothers Against Child Abandonment (MACA), which is basically targetted at unwanted pregnancies etc. The governor’s wife is already putting up a home that will help reform or restructure the attitude of the young girls/ladies to a more meaningful one. She wants all the young ladies to be in a particular home, so that they and their children will be properly cared for. And here in the ministry, we are organising seminars and workshops to bring them back to their senses and make them understand the fact that what they are doing now is against our culture, against their Christian faith and is morally wrong.

In eights months, what impact would you say your ministry has had?
The question is very challenging. On the child aspect, there is emphasis on orphans by the Federal Ministry of Women Affairs, which is being supported by the state government. We want to put together a data of all orphans and children across the state, so that it will help fashion out purposeful approach on how to assist them. The idea is also to offer educational and social services to the families that are taking care of their orphans. The issue of child and women trafficking are very critical in the state. So far, we have been able to return some of the rescued children to their families and homes, while the alleged traffickers who were arrested are still with the police. These are some of the issues in the state as they concern women and children; and I can tell you right now that we are working seriously towards checking some of those vices and drastically reducing them, if not eliminating them completely.

However, it involves a lot of funds and we have written to the governor for collaboration. Child and human trafficking are mostly done in the local government areas. We have therefore written to the governor for an approval to collaborate with the local government areas. That is in the pipeline. We believe that once the approval is gotten, we will be able to do something meaningful. Also, remember that we are not a prosecuting agency; we are just trying to rehabilitate and make sure that we stop them. So, once the child and human traffickers are brought to us, we hand them over to the police for further action.

The agency in charge of this issue (NATIPS) is the group we relate with for further action.
Also, we are trying to see how we can train them to acquire some skills, so that they can have something to do. This is because they complain of poverty. We want to ensure that we have some jobs back home for them. That is why we are collaborating with local governments and we have been talking to donor agencies to come and help us.

As a mother, how do you see an average Cross Rivers girl?
Our girls are not really doing badly, especially those in the urban areas. The problem is really with those in the rural areas. Most do not really understand what life is all about. Unfortunately, most of them are encouraged by their parents. Their mothers tell them to drop out of school. They tell their daughters to go and get money for the family. They therefore push them into the streets for prostitution and all sorts of social vices. So, that is what we are trying to make the mothers understand; that money is not everything.We are trying to really make the mothers understand that they should not be the ones to encourage their children into all negative ways of life. They should rather contribute positively to the upbringing of the girl-child. We just believe that much sensitisation, advocacy and awareness will help to check most of these issues.

What will be your candid advice for a Cross River woman, mother, girl and youth?
They should simply be themselves. Once you listen to your inner self, and you have faith in God that whatever you do will work, I believe they should all be dreamers. It is only dreamers that achieve. They should dream and make sure they actualise their dream.

How do you combine your roles as a wife, mother and commissioner and still function effectively ?
I have been married for 20 years and I have grown-ups. It is not really stressful and I have a very understanding husband. He actually talked and propelled me into politics. He is a great support to me. My children are all big and are all good cooks; so I am not really stressed up; but I try to make my Saturday and Sunday free for them, be with them as a family. But my Monday to Fridays they know I have to work; so they are really supportive. My husband is always there to support me, even when I have to go for late outings. He takes me out. I, therefore, thank him for that great love and understanding.

Are you a politician?
Yes. In the last dispensation, I went for the chairmanship as a woman. That was how we were able to mobilise the people for the VIP treatment. My people believe in me, that whatever I bring to them is something that will benefit them. I have my contacts and the Chairman is a very responsive and understanding human being. He knows whatever I bring to him will not be something that is destructive. I am primarily here to serve the people. You know once you are humble, people will easily open up to you and come to you. After serving, I will go back to my normal life. So, I have to do the best I can, and that is probably why they come to me. Recently, women gathered – I don’t know who told them it was my birthday; as if I just came out from a wedding. It was unannounced. People were asking what I gave to the people. I just said ‘love’.

The fact is that when a woman comes out to do something, usually they do it very well. To the glory of God, I was the director of Tonvision Board and I was leading the women team for the mobilisation of Cross River State Women. It is God that gave me and us the ideas, wisdom to mobilise the entire Cross River women. Our governor’s election was probably the freest and the fairest during the delegates and primaries. This is because the governor is a very humble person, and down-to-earth. We really appreciate him.

What makes you unique?
I am simple. When I am with women, I do whatever they do to make them happy.

What is your definition of love?
Love is sharing.

How will you describe your 20 years of married life?
But you know what marriage is now; it is an institution of its own. It has its turbulence and joy. My advice to girls of today is that for your marriage to work, you just must be very patient. We are going on, we have been going on, and we are still going and we are still moving forward and we will still move on. You must believe in your husband. I believe in my husband. That is the secret. I would marry him over and over again.

What will be your advice for the governor of Cross Rivers State?
I can’t advise my governor; but I will pray for him, that God will continue to give him the wisdom that He gave to Solomon to rule. That is my prayer for him. This is because he is out to make a change. He is a kind-hearted man. He is simple. He is not a noise maker and he loves the people and he is gender-friendly. He is out to make a change and we believe in him.