Ways to be a gentleman

By Taiwo Akinlembola

GOING on a date is usually the first step into a relationship and it is often very exciting. Most times, men go into dating absolutely unaware of what it takes. No girl on her first date expects a rough behaviour, so there is need for men to at least put on a gentleman act to please their women or probably, so that the date will not flop.

There are sometimes some subtle, but always significant ways of showing a woman that you are attentive, respectful and well-mannered. Of course, many of them are habits which can be cultivated in any situation — a man should strive to be a gentleman at all times — but they are particularly important when you are in the company of a lady. Below are various ways that you can show to your lady that you are a perfect gentleman.

Walk outside on the sidewalk
By keeping her on the inside in earlier times, this would keep her away from the traffic, while ensuring that any effluent in the open sewers would not be thrown onto her dress by a passing car.While sewage is less of an issue today, it is still good form to protect a woman from puddles and traffic. Intelligent women may even understand the chivalry in this gesture. Now that you know, there is no excuse for missing this. You can even impress her with some esoteric trivia if she does mention it.

Let her sit down first
In days gone by, it was considered appropriate for a gentleman to pull out a chair for his lady. Nowadays, this is considered a little bit too formal. As a gentlemanly gesture, you should instead ensure that your lady sits down before you do. Remaining standing for that fraction longer is a mark of respect and good manners, even if she doesn’t consciously notice it. Anyway, don’t make it too obvious that you are waiting for her to sit down.

Watch your language
A very important point which is increasingly overlooked in the modern world, inappropriate language is not acceptable on a date. A gentleman should pride himself on being erudite and articulate, and be capable of expressing himself without resorting to crude vocabulary. Not only does this demonstrate intelligence, but it also indicates that you have high standards for yourself and for the people you are around. This rule can be extended to include using overly long words that you don’t even understand in an attempt to show off.This will make you look so foolish.

Walk her home
Walking a lady home is an extremely important component of gentlemanly conduct. It may take you out of your way, but ensuring she gets home safely is your first priority. She will feel safer at the end of the evening if she knows she will be accompanied right to her front door, which will score you big points. You can risk losing those points, however, if you make the terrible mistake of expecting a reward for your efforts. It is her prerogative to decide whether anything happens at the doorstep.

Offer your jacket
When a woman makes the considerable effort of getting dressed for a date, practicality is not always her first consideration. There are occasions when that dress, while dazzling, simply does not provide adequate protection from inclement climactic conditions. If you notice that it is a cold or wet evening, as a gentleman you should immediately offer her your jacket. She may refuse, but be attentive to the fact that she may get colder, and do not be afraid to repeat your offer should the weather worsen. Again, as a gentleman, if you are feeling the cold, grin and bear it. The comfort of your lady is your first priority.

Offer your seat
Everyone who has a sense of decency would not fail to offer their seat on a bus or train to an elderly person, or a pregnant lady. However, you can go one step further by offering your seat to your date. This is a good one because it shows that you are putting her welfare ahead of your own. The best way to do this is to stand up before offering your seat, rather than making the offer and then standing up.

At the table, turn off your phone
It is consistently amazing just how many men will interrupt their date in order to take a phone call. This is among the very rudest things you can do to someone, date or not. When you are on a date, your date should be made to feel like she is the most important person in the world to you at that moment. A phone call means that your date cannot interact in the conversation, and is left sitting uncomfortably, waiting for you to finish. As a gentlemanly gesture, switch your phone off, and reply to any missed calls later when you have the time.

Introduce her
Much like taking a call and ignoring her, if you fail to introduce her to someone you bump into, she is left feeling isolated and uncomfortable. A gentleman will always make sure that his date is feeling comfortable, and an important part of this is having the social awareness to introduce her to your friend or acquaintance. All you need do is pause briefly to say her name, and position your body so she is included in the conversation. Even if she says nothing, she will feel more involved and more comfortable.

Hold the door
This is the most important way to be a gentleman to a lady and it is a very simple one, because it makes a woman feel respected. Generally speaking, you should always hold the door for someone entering behind you. Once again, it shows respect for other people, which reflects well on you as a person. An important note to remember is that you should not race your date to get to the door first; this appears try-hard and condescending. As with all these gestures, making them a natural part of your behaviour is essential to ensure that your date receives it positively.