Re: The two of them betrayed me

updated: Friday 11-07-2008

I felt great empathy after reading your story and it inspired me to resume the task of responding to Heart Copy stories as I used to do before. First, I must appreciate what I see as your simplicity, trust and love for peace. What even thrills me most is the fact that you simply wanted your husband back, never minding whatever he has done to hurt you. That’s a large heart, a sense of commitment and dedication and an unalloyed love for the one whom you have lived the whole of your life with.

Maybe I should just point to one or two errors you committed. Your naivety arising out of your seemingly simple disposition is it. You had enough signals about what was coming to befall your marriage at a very early stage but you did not nip the disaster in the bud. You ought to have worked on the information you received from your childhood friend and the observation you made at the wedding event of your youngest daughter.

On the part of your husband, it is important for you to know that such is the life that an average politician (especially ones without Christ) lives. You should also be aware that ladies like Cecilia are experts in their business and don’t just do things ordinarily. They engage in diabolic means of achieving their aim. Don’t be surprised to know that since the day she came to your house, she had a game plan and interestingly, you helped her right into your home, out of ignorance, perhaps because you were not discerning.

Do you know there are some cases where some husbands; out of poverty, support their wives to go into messing around with big men to make money? People can go any length to make money in Nigeria these days. All she is interested in, in your husband is to dig gold. His face is presently veiled by what the lady has used to charm him and let us just pray that one day, the veil will be removed and his eyes will be opened. Anyway, the deed is done, so what next? I have the following suggestions for you:

First, pray. Be very prayerful. Are you born again? If not, give your life to Christ. You cannot afford to labour all your life only for someone else to come and reap where you have sown. That’s a curse. The Lord breaks it in Jesus name! Second, pray for your husband’s salvation. He is under a delusion. Unless the scale is removed from his eyes, he remains in that bondage and that is too bad for the two of you at this evening time of your lives. Third, dialogue humbly and prayerfully with your husband. Appeal to his sense of reasoning. Involve your children and possibly respectable members of your family and his. Please tell your children to avoid being confrontational.

Fourth, check if there’s nothing wrong with your behaviour too. I was surprised at the way you said majority of your husband’s friends related freely with Cecilia instead of you, during your daughter's wedding (and were even asking her for things instead of you).

If you have won the hearts of your husband’s friends before Cecilia came, that should be somewhat difficult. So check if something is wrong and get ready to amend it. Finally, get ready for a compromise. While I don’t support polygamy, if your husband insists on still keeping Cecilia especially now that she has a child for him, please let it be for the sake of peace.

At least you can have your husband back at home as the first wife. It will now be left for you to detain and retain him with prayers, love, humility, submission and a renewed commitment that can totally win him back to you.

The issue of sex is also important. Give him yourself if you have not been doing enough. Interestingly, just a page before your story on May 25th Tribune, is the issue of enjoying sex at over fifty. Maybe your husband simply did what men of their age without the fear of God do. Please read that story again. God bless you. I have prayed for you and I know there will be a miracle.

Rev Ezekiel A. Ajibade, First Baptist Church, New Bussa.

Link Me Up

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