Are some secrets best kept?

By Taiwo Akinlebonla

THE lady in question just got a pay rise at work.

Her salary at work is fixed while her husband is a businessman-money today, none tomorrow. Aside the fact that he is a businessman, he is a heavy spender. There is no amount of money he cannot spend at a go and he does not seem to care much where the money is coming from even if it is from his wife’s pocket.

While his wife prefers to save some money in case of unforseen circumstances, the man believes that they should spend the money as it comes, afterall, if there are no contract jobs coming, his wife’s salary should be enough to keep the family going.

This was the main reason why the wife refused to declare the new pay increase at work and also what she was paid as her monthly salary. This way, she felt she would be able to save the some money in case of dry days because if her husband got to know what she earned, he would help her squander it.

However, her husband got to know about the salary increament from one of her colleagues at work. This caused a big disagreement between them because the husband insisted that she purposely kept it as a secret from him because she knew he didn’t have money.

The scenario narrated above prompted reactions from both men and women alike on whether the financial status of a woman should be declared to her husband or not.

Strictly Femail brings to you some people’s opinions on the issue. Excerpts:

“Why should I declare my income or pay increase to my husband?” As it is not good for a man to let his wife know the amount he earns at work, so also does it apply to a woman. I am not saying that couples should not help each other financially but not at the expense of each other. We all have dreams to achieve and one should not hinder the other one because of selfish needs. Why do you want to know what your wife earns at work? It depends on her if she wants to tell you or not.
- Ada Odogwu, businesswoman.

The Bible says for “a man shall leave his parents, cleave unto his wife and they shall become one”. Being one encompasses everything, even the financial status of the couple.

Why would my wife not disclose what she earns, or get an increment in salary at the office and decide to keep it away from me? If she can do such a thing, that means there are other things in her life that she is being secretive about. If I don’t have money, definitely she has to help me out. It’s just like her being cash-strapped and I decide not to help her. If I find out that she had a pay increament and decided not to let me know about it, forget it, I would never trust her on any issue again.
Jude Giwa, businessman.

Why would I want to know what my wife earns? It is only a lazy man that would exhibit that type of behaviour. Naturally, you should be the breadwinner of the house, take care of the financial aspect, but if your wife decides to help out, she is doing so as your helpmate not a competitor.

She is not supposed to be working in the first instance, you are supposed to care for her every need but if she decides to work, it is because she wants to help you with a little of what she earns, not you taking over everything.
Pastor Duro Adedayo.

I would prefer that my husband knows what I earn, while I also know what he earns. This way, we can work together for the progress of the family financially. I would not like a situation where I woud be spending all my earnings on the upkeep of the house while he uses his own on frivolities because he knows his wife has money or does not know his income.
Sade Abass, lawyer.

What I earn at work is definitely not my husband’s business, so he should not make it his. All I am supposed to do as his wife is to help him out once in a while if he is stranded financially.

Men could be very funny when it comes to money issues. Most of them will turn you to the breadwinner once they know what you earn, especially if you earn more than them.

What I earn is something I would not disclose to my husband for anything. All I need to do is help once in a while.
Juliet Olagunju, banker.