What to look for in a mate

updated: Friday 04-07-2008

Dear Single Reader,
The qualities you look out for, while choosing a marriage partner, are a clear indication of your preparedness. This week, I will be examining the topic, Choose a Believer.

If you are a born again, spirit-field believer, there is a need for you to look out for the same kind of person, just as you are. Remember, water seeks its own level! A personal relationship with Jesus is the cornerstone of any successful marriage. You should settle for no less than a believer, who is spiritually sensitive to the Lord and desires to live for Christ. (2 Corinthians 6: 14-15). A saved person and an unbeliever cannot have real fellowship, communion or concord. This is primarily because there is a fundamental difference between the character and life of one who is a believer and that of an unbeliever. Oil and water do not mix. A follower of Christ would not make a good marriage match with a nonbeliever. Beware!

The person you are choosing as a mate must have the same view on the Biblical basics of sound doctrine (1 John 4:1-6).God did not intend the Christian life to be a game of solitaire. He designed the church to meet our needs and for us to serve others. You should agree on this issue with your future mate (Eph. 4:1-16; Heb. 10:24-25).

Nothing should be more important to you or to the person you are getting married to than your spiritual well-being. Abraham knew that. He had his servant travel a great distance to find a spiritually compatible bride for his son. He knew the lasting significance of marriage (Genesis 24). Abraham gave his servant, Eliezer, these strict orders: “You will not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I dwell; but you shall go to my country and to my kindred, and take a wife for my son Isaac.

(Genesis 24: 3-4). The Canaanites were notorious idolaters of the basest kind. Their gods and goddesses promoted worship that included human sacrifices and fertility rites with perverse sex. You must be on guard against the temptation to overlook this most basic issue of spiritual compatibility. Never you choose by appearance. Don’t allow feelings to lead you to trample on your relationship with the Lord. Pay more attention to the spiritual matters, which endure rather than just mere feelings or the physical, which are subject to change. Beware of physical yardsticks such as looks, physique, possession, carrier, fame, etc. These are transient and do not guarantee happiness and success in marriage .

In considering who to marry, never you think of marrying an unbeliever with the intention of converting him or her after marriage, this won’t work! The Abrahamic covenant does not permit you to marry a stranger, no matter the wealth and position of the man or woman in question. Even though the apostles Paul and Peter spoke of the possibility of winning an unbelieving spouse to the Lord (1 Cor. 7:12-16; 1 Pet. 3:1-2), that does not mean we should go into marriage, knowing we are spiritually incompatible. A believer, who marries an unbeliever, may be facing a lifetime of spiritual unrest in the marriage and a battle for the spiritual well-being of their children.

It is also very important for you as you choose a believer, you also must be a serious believer. It will be a waste of time and effort for you to keep praying and fasting for a God-fearing mate when you are not serious with God.

Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through:
E-mail: faithdavid@yahoo.com Tel. No: 234-1-7747546-8;