When best to have a baby

This is an age that many women delay having babies in order to build their careers. However, fertility experts caution women in their 30s not to wait too long, particularly if they want more than one child.

Many consider the 30s the happy-medium age for
motherhood. You are more apt to be secure in your career and in your relationship, which will provide a firm foundation for your growing family. Hopefully, you and your partner have also had the chance to have some adventures together before you embark on parenthood, the greatest adventure of all.

That is the good news. The bad news is there is a tremendous difference between your ability to get pregnant in your early versus your late 30s. As the decade progresses, a woman’s fertility goes into free fall. That is why fertility experts caution women in their 30s not to wait too long, particularly if they want more than one child.

Pregnancy at any age comes with distinct advantages and disadvantages. We checked in with fertility specialists, financial consultants, relationship gurus, and 30-something mothers to provide a realistic picture of what it’s like to have a child in your 30s.

In many ways, having children in your 30s makes financial and practical sense. You probably have a higher income and a better financial cushion than in your 20s, because you have had more time to become established in the working world. Yet, you may have more flexibility than a woman in her 40s, who might find it personally and professionally difficult to interrupt a high-level career to have a child.

Marnie Azner, an independent financial adviser based in Morris Plains, New Jersey, advises women to do what they can to mitigate the financial consequences of taking time off to have a child. “Quitting your job is going to hurt your folk, pension fund, Social Security benefits, and chances of vesting,” she says.

“Of course, you should never make the choice to have a child or not based on finances alone, but if you educate yourself, you may find there are ways to minimise the financial damage of such a choice. For example, if your plan is going to vest next year, can you hold off on getting pregnant for a few months, so you won’t miss that opportunity?”

Azner also advises women who want to stay in the job market to maintain their professional skills and contacts so it will be easier to return. “Keep up with the trade publications, attend conferences, have an occasional lunch with a former colleague, or take a course at your community college,” she suggests. “These days it is essential to keep up your technological skills, because technology is changing so rapidly. Even if you do not plan to return to work anytime soon, if you keep your hand in, you will have that option.”

Luckily, new mothers in their 30s still have a lot of stamina and resilience – qualities that come in handy for parenting young children. While everyone develops differently, women at this age are likely to know themselves better than women in their 20s do and are less likely to be as set in their ways as women in their 40s, says San Francisco psychotherapist Leah Seidler.

Nicole Rogers, Director of Sales at the San Francisco Marriott, had one child in her 20s, three in her 30s, and one at 41. If she had to choose, she would pick the 30s as the ideal childbearing decade: “Your career is launched, you still look and feel great, and you have the energy to keep up with your kids,” she notes. “You are more relaxed about being a parent than you were in your 20s, so you can have more fun, and you are not as tired as you are in your 40s. You think you can do it all, and in your 30s, you almost can.”

Every study you read or expert you consult will agree: 35 is the age of reckoning for women when it comes to having children. In your early 30s, your chances of getting pregnant are only slightly lower than in your late 20s and your risk of a miscarriage or a baby with Down Syndrome only slightly higher — but at 35, that decline in fertility begins to accelerate. Age 35 is also the point when Down Syndrome and other genetic abnormalities become more of a concern, so experts routinely recommend amniocentesis, chorionic villus sampling, or other detailed foetal screening during pregnancy from the mid-30s on.

Miscarriage rates also rise slowly but steadily as women age, as do pregnancy-related complications. A woman over 35 is more likely than a younger woman to have an ectopic pregnancy. Ceasarean rates are also higher for women over 35: First-time mothers this age have a 40 per cent chance of a C-section delivery compared to 14 per cent of first-time mothers in their 20s. Experts say these increased caesarean rates are caused by pregnancy problems like foetal distress or prolonged second-stage labour, which are more common for older mothers.

Of course, every woman ages at her own pace, but experts say that at 35, a woman needs to get serious if she wants to have children — especially if she wants more than one. “I always tell women to think about that second pregnancy,” says fertility specialist James Goldfarb, director of infertility services and IVF at the Cleveland Clinic Foundation in Cleveland, Ohio, United State.

“At age 35 or 36, many women need only minor, if any, medical intervention to get pregnant, but by the time they are ready for their next child, say at 39, those same medications are less likely to work.”

Goldfarb, who sees couples struggling with fertility issues every day in his Cleveland practice, puts the statistics into perspective: “There is a clear drop-off in fertility between ages 29 and 35, but the majority of 35-year-old women still would not have a problem,” he says. “However, by 38 or 39, age becomes a big factor.”

Overall, in your 30s you have about a 15 per cent chance of getting pregnant in any single ovulation cycle, according to leading fertility specialist, Sherman Silber, director of the Infertility Centre of St. Louis at St. Luke’s Hospital in Missouri and author of four best-selling fertility books, including How to Get Pregnant. Your chances of conceiving within a year of starting to try are about 75 per cent. But since fertility wanes as the decade progresses, in your late 30s your chance of getting pregnant within a year drops to 65 per cent.

Miscarriage risk rises slowly throughout the 30s, from about 12 per cent for ages 30 to 34 to 18 per cent for ages 35 to 39. First-time mothers over 35 have a 40 per cent chance of having a C-section, compared to 14 per cent for first-time mothers in their 20s.

At age 30, the risk of carrying a child with Down Syndrome is one in 759. That risk jumps to one in 302 when you are 35.

Age 35 to 39 is also when women are most likely to have twins — even without the fertility treatments that raise the odds for multiple births — of women at any other age. Typically, you release one egg a cycle. But as you get older, your FSH (Follicle Stimulating Hormone) level increases. When this hormonal surge occurs, there is a chance that you may release more than one egg during a cycle, upping the odds of a multiple birth. So while older women are statistically less likely to get pregnant, if they do get pregnant, they are more likely to have twins.

What to do if you want to get pregnant now age aside, to give yourself the best chance for a normal pregnancy and a healthy baby, you should consider taking a few important steps before heading down the road to conception.

If you are under 35 and have had frequent (about two or three times a week) unprotected sex for a year without becoming pregnant, then it’s probably time to consult a fertility expert. If you’re 35 or over, you should see a specialist if you have had frequent unprotected sex for three to six months and are still not pregnant.

And if you know of any specific reasons you may have trouble getting pregnant, such as a history of missed periods or sexually transmitted diseases, or your partner has problems with sperm production, you may want to see an expert even sooner.

Culled from MSN .com