What if your wife has multiple births?

By Adenike Bankole-Ojo - Updated: Thursday 05-11-2009

The Ogunsanya quadruplets:
Tokunbo, Temitope, Tobilola and
ToluwalaseIt is the desire of every man and woman to have children after marriage. Not only this, the African culture also places more value on children. The number of children a man has depicts his level of wealth and treasure; that is why a traditional African man would do anything to have as many wives and children as possible.

It is good to have children; no one can disprove this. But it is obvious in the present world that many people, because of the economic situation, are finding it difficult to cope with too many children.

People now limit the number of their children to four, if not three in the least, and some, in the developed world, may decide not to have at all. Now, the issue here is how to cope with multiple births. A situation no man knows how it comes about or how to control.

When Mr James Ola discovered his wife delivered a set of quadruplets after three children, his immediate reaction was to run away. He left the children to his wife with the thoughts that the government would, one day, come to her aid.

The case was, however, different for Martins Eze, who had triplets in their first attempts and decided not to have more. Mr John Praise’s case was quite pathetic as he abandoned his triplets at a motherless babies home after his wife died during childbirth.

Cases abound in various hospitals with mothers of multiple births abandoned with their gifts as a result of added responsibilities in the face of dwindling economic fortunes.

But are these men who abandoned their families after such multiple births to blame? Men’s Roundtable went to town and asked some men their reactions should the result of the scan on their wives pregnancies indicate more than one foetus. Below are their responses:

Kunle Oyejide: This is a very difficult situation, especially if the children come as the last. If they come as the first, I would dare not make any mistake of having more . My wife and I will have to go for family planning quickly.

With the present economic situation in the country, a man may be tempted to abandon these children, but who will eventually take care of them?

Anyhow, I will make sure I wait and take care of them. I believe God can do all things and as long as they are gifts from Him, He will certainly provide for me.

Chuckwudi Eze, Undergraduate: There is no use running away. A bold man must be able to stand his ground in any situation. If you run, how will you face your children, wife and the entire family? A man should face the situation and ask God for help on how to feed the children. Also, instead of running away and ridiculing yourself, why not ask for government’s help?

John Adewole, Teacher: This situation, for any man would be very dfficult, especially when you are expecting one baby as your last and you end up with four. What can a man do in this situation than to run to God for help? The government will only help you to some certain extent and after, you are on your own.

There is no need to cry over spilled milk; the fact remains that you have them and no doubt, you have to cater for them. Why run away in the face of difficulty, leaving your wife and the children in pain? Even the rich these days don’t pray for many children not to talk of the poor. But when they come, you have to face it. They are gifts from God.

Effiong Edom, Undergraduate: God, I don’t think I pray for such a situation in my life. As a man, I plan not to have more than two children. Anything aside this is not a plus at all; it is a burden.The situation in the country is not encouraging; even the richest countries in the world now operate birth control measures to curb excess childbirth. I may not run away but I might become so aggressive and hate my wife and the children for this. Anyway, I don’t blame those who run away.

Lekan Bankole, Trader: God will not allow such a thing to happen to me. I don’t plan to have more than the four children I already have. Things are so tight for me, even to feed now is almost impossible. I am sure God will not punish a poor man by giving him such gifts. If it happens, I am sure I will go away for some time to sort myself out. I must have sent my wife and the children to stay with my parents, then, I would go and struggle to make ends meet.

Wale Ajayi, Auto technician: There is nothing any man can do than to accept his fate and face reality. If you run away, you will surely come back; it’s only a heartless man that can abandon his wife and children in such a situation. Who is to blame here, God or the children? My wife gave birth to twins with her first pregnancy and as if this was not enough, she gave birth to another set of twins during her second delivery. Meanwhile, they were all girls and as a man, I desperately wanted a male child that would uphold my name.

So, I persuaded my wife to give it another trial maybe we could be lucky. She accepted, probably, because she feared the idea that I could go out to chase other women so, she got pregnant and what do you expect? God wanted to teach me how to be contented because she actually gave birth to another set of twins; girls. I was disappointed and devastated; the thought of having to fend for six girls really troubled me, but today, I thank God.

George Adeleke: Children are gifts from God. It is true that you might determine the number of children you will have but God has the final say.

There is no big deal if you are blessed with multiple births. If they are the first, God has answered your prayers but better still, if they are the last, what choice do you have? I want to assure you that these children can grow up to be very beautiful, if you can endure the hardship of raising them. It’s not easy anyway.

Tayo Isola, Banker: Every man wants comfort for himself and the children he brings to this world. I don’t want to have too many children so, I don’t pray to have even twins not to talk of quadruplets. Although, if they come and they are well taken care of, they might become a thing of envy to many, things are, however, not easy and taking care of them can be time consuming and tasking.

All said and done, the reactions are mixed but once your children are more than one, why not accept them with love?