Re: How do I ask my husband about this other woman?

updated: Thursday 02-07-2009

Dear Taiwo
I want to react to this woman’s problem but first, let the two of them know where they made mistakes. To Charles, he is the cause of all these problems for some reasons:

•For Charles to be having extra-marital affairs is morally wrong and sinful in the sight of God. I want the readers to know that I am not a saint too, but I have to react to this with all sincerity and you know that anything a man does that he cannot boast of or tell his wife about, is wrong and there is no two ways to it; if something is wrong, it is wrong.

•There is nothing wrong in Charles telling his wife that he wants to marry a second wife at least, he is a man, he should be bold to act as a man. For him not to tell his wife, he is very wrong.

To N.K, she committed a serious blunder, she has forgotten the saying that two wrongs can never make a right, if she discovered that her husband is having an extra marital affairs, what she should do is pray for the husband not to impregnate any woman outside. Once a man starts having friends outside, it takes the grace of God to bring him back home. Therefore, it is very wrong for any woman to check her husband's text messages or receive his calls, not to the extent of calling the woman, and moreso, she went to the lady’s house and beat hell out of her that she even lost her four-month-old pregnancy. N.K has crossed her boundary. I cannot imagine my own wife doing such a nasty thing.

Taiwo, you cannot count how many homes GSM has scattered. It is quite unfortunate that we Nigerians don’t know how to use the GSM. It is not peculiar to women alone, some men also check their wive’s phones, text messages and call log. Can you imagine that? This woman would not have discovered if she had not been checking her husband’s text messages and picking his calls. It’s not always good.

The solution to the problem at hand is for the wife to tell her husband that she has discovered that Tinuke has a set of twins for him, she should not hide it from him, for how long would she do that? She should come out and face the reality and accept it in good faith, she should accept the twins and face her own children too, thank God she has her own children. She should not pack out of the house she has built for years according to her story. She made her husband what he is and it is good she ascribes the glory to the Lord, she should however be patient in order to enjoy all what she has laboured for over the years, just accept Tinuke and her babies because if you proove otherwise they can plan for you and get you out of the way, remember you have children and that should be your consolation.

It is not easy, but I pray God will give you the grace to handle the situation.

Segun Adeola, 08034272700, adeolalewis@yahoo.com

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